...it's not dark yet, but it's gettin' there...

November 26, 2007



The new bumper sticker for people who can't go five friggin' minutes without pimpin' their third place guy.

Posted by annika, Nov. 26, 2007 | link | Comments (11) | TrackBack (0)
Rubric: annikapunditry & photoshopaholic

May 04, 2007

Annika's Journal Farewell Tour: Part VI, The Agitprop

sheets.gif pelosipop.gif ejforsg.gif kikiagitprop.gif

These are the sidebar agitprops I created during the course of this blog's run.

Number one was my first attempt, using a picture of Kerry doing the "raise the roof" gesture. Pretty self-explanatory.

Number two was a little more sophisticated, and the first time I did the whole top and bottom bar thingie. I like the long face distortion, which is useful anytime one wants to depict the french-looking candidate.

Number three was created soon after Byrd gave his freakish meandering oration against the Authorization for the Use of Force. I'm particularly fond of the vampirish pallor of his skin, which was created by manipulating the hue and brightness settings in photoshop. Great pose too. The caption is a subtle hint at his Klan history. Grand Wizard becomes Grand Poobah.

Number four is Nancy Pelosi at her most strident. For effect I manipulated the size of her eyes and mouth. Not enough to look photoshopped, but just enough to be weird.

Number five is connected to my infamous EJ for Sec Gen post, which got such wide exposure thanks to a mention by Jeff Jarvis on tv. I totally lucked out when I found that picture of EJ with the blue hair wig. It was perfect.

And number six utilizes the gif animation function, which has given me hours of fun since I discovered how to do it back in January of '05. For those who don't know the references, this was based on the promotional photograph of Kiki Couric, which had been photoshopped by CBS to make her look younger and thinner. Tiffany is a reference to CBS's old nickname, "the tiffany network." I can't deny that I was also inspired by Violet from the old Willie Wonka movie.

So much for the agitprop. Someday, when the time is right, I'm planning to make a "Hillary: the female Nixon" sticker and plaster it all over California. Watch for it.

Posted by annika, May. 4, 2007 | link | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)
Rubric: On The Blogosphere & photoshopaholic

January 20, 2007

Paid Advertisement


I know Mark Steyn says our population is aging, but this is ridiculous.

Posted by annika, Jan. 20, 2007 | link | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)
Rubric: photoshopaholic

November 07, 2006

A Silver Lining?

The silver lining is that maybe I can make some money off of this.

Introducing . . . the first post-defeat t-shirt and bumper sticker!

Posted by annika, Nov. 7, 2006 | link | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)
Rubric: photoshopaholic

October 27, 2006

Hardball Hardon


Chris Matthews has been obsessing over the chick from the Ford ad all week. I think he's smitten. He keeps calling her "sexy, sexy, naked, naked, very alluring, sexy, naked," etc.

But she just isn't that hot. Seriously, I don't even think Casca would go after her. Well, maybe after a few Bacardi and Cokes, I don't know.

More: In Australia, there is a conservative politician running for a seat in a district named, coincidentally, Forde. Her name is Hajnal Ban and she is something.

via AWH

Posted by annika, Oct. 27, 2006 | link | Comments (16) | TrackBack (0)
Rubric: photoshopaholic

October 10, 2006

Fantasy Musical Team-Ups That'll Never Happen

Picture this: Barbra Streisand reprising her most famous role as Dolly Levi, and introducing George W. Bush as Horace Vandergelder! That's brilliant casting, and it would be box office gold. Gold I tell ya!


Alas, I'm afraid it would never happen. I don't think the president could handle the vocal parts.

Posted by annika, Oct. 10, 2006 | link | Comments (5) | TrackBack (0)
Rubric: Arts & photoshopaholic

September 22, 2006

More Mohammadonna Art

A contributor who wishes to remain anonymous sent me this artwork, inspired by my recent Mohammadonna post. I love it.


This is great. If anybody else wants to make some Mohammadonna shit, send it to me or give me a link. I'll post it.

Posted by annika, Sep. 22, 2006 | link | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)
Rubric: photoshopaholic

September 04, 2006

Countdown To Kiki

The horror...


VIOLET: Dessert? Here it comes. Blueberry pie and cream!
It's the most marvelous blueberry pie that I've ever tasted!

CHARLIE: Look at her face!

MR. BEAUREGARDE: Holy Toledo, what's happening to your face?

VIOLET: Cool it, Dad! Lemme finish.

MR. BEAUREGARDE: Yeah, but your face is turning blue!
Violet, you're turning violet, Violet!

VIOLET: What are you talking about?

WONKA: I told you I hadn't got it quite right yet.

MR. BEAUREGARDE: You can say that again. Look what it's
done to my kid!

WONKA: It always goes wrong when we come to the dessert.

MR. BEAUREGARDE: Violet, what are you doing now?!? You're
blowing up!

VIOLET: I feel funny.

GRANDPA JOE: I'm not surprised.

VIOLET: What's happening?

MR. BEAUREGARDE: You're blowing up like a balloon!

WONKA: Like a blueberry.

MR. BEAUREGARDE: Somebody do something! Call a doctor!

MRS. TEEVEE: Stick her with a pin.

CHARLIE: She'll pop!

WONKA: It happens every time! They all become blueberries.

MR. BEAUREGARDE: You've really done it this time, haven't
you, Wonka. I'll break you for this.

WONKA: Oh, well, I'll get it right in the end.

VIOLET: Help! Help!

(Wonka plays the pipe whistle.)

MR. BEAUREGARDE: We've got to let the air out of her, quick!

WONKA: There's no air in there.


WONKA: That's juice.


WONKA: (to an Oompa Loompa) Would you roll the young lady
down to the juicing room at once, please.


WONKA: For squeezing. She has to be squeezed immediately
before she explodes.

MR. BEAUREGARDE: Explodes?!?

WONKA: It's a fairly simple operation.

Posted by annika, Sep. 4, 2006 | link | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)
Rubric: Celebrity Watch & photoshopaholic

February 21, 2006

Still More Behind The Scenes At Fox News


Hey, this is easier to do than a hot tub post.

Posted by annika, Feb. 21, 2006 | link | Comments (5) | TrackBack (0)
Rubric: photoshopaholic

February 20, 2006

More Behind The Scenes At Fox News


Previous Dhue blogging installments: here and here.

Posted by annika, Feb. 20, 2006 | link | Comments (5) | TrackBack (0)
Rubric: photoshopaholic

February 11, 2006

If St. Cindy Can Do It, Why Shouldn't I?

You heard that Cindy Sheehan was selling herself over the internet? The ad got pulled by eBay, possibly because the product may produce involuntary stomach spasms.

However, with this auction, no such problems are likely:


As to any other disclaimers, I disclaim them.

Posted by annika, Feb. 11, 2006 | link | Comments (15) | TrackBack (0)
Rubric: photoshopaholic

December 11, 2005

Speaking Of Endorsements

Here's proof that the smackdown Howard Dean received last week is doing some good:


So go easy on Howie, not only is he working hard to elect the next Republican Congress and President, he's a friend of annika's journal.

Posted by annika, Dec. 11, 2005 | link | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Rubric: photoshopaholic

September 25, 2005

Celine Dion Visits The Hot Tub Friends

Guess who dropped in on the Hot Tub Friends' latest party? It's mega-star Celine Dion!

Let's listen in, shall we?


Posted by annika, Sep. 25, 2005 | link | Comments (8) | TrackBack (0)
Rubric: Hot Tub Friends & photoshopaholic

July 02, 2005

The Freaking Idiot's Guide To The Supreme Court

You ever listen to those early morning CSPAN call-in shows? What a bunch of freaking idiots.

It's like this:

Hello? Is this CSPAN?

Well, I liked that Sander Day O'Conner 'cuz she seemed like she was fair and all. And I think Bush needs to pick someone who's not all for the corporate America with all the Halliburton things and stuff.

Or the angry idiots:
She was just another right wing fascist who selected Bush and wants to roll back Medicare and Social Security with all his fascist crony corporate America and Halliburton things and stuff.

The right wing callers are no better:

Bush needs to pick somebody who's a mainstream American, like someone who hates them despicable homosexual things and stuff.
i often wonder why so many neanderthals are watching CSPAN instead of, say, Jerry Springer re-runs or those used car dealer infomercials they show on like eight stations every Saturday morning? i think it's because they have trouble figuring out the remote control and just get stuck on the channel.

In my attempt to remedy the ignorance of these people, i've prepared a pocket guide to the Supreme Court for any such CSPAN watchers who may have made it over to my blog and read this far down the page.

My handy pocket guide contains a picture of each Supreme Court justice, their name, and then a short bio. You can print it out if you'd like and refer to it whenever you want to express an opinion out loud about the Supreme Court.

Here it is. You can trust me on this stuff, i'm a law student.


Don't forget, it's also suitable for laminating, or pasting onto the dasboard of your VW Beetle.

Glad to be of help.

Posted by annika, Jul. 2, 2005 | link | Comments (15) | TrackBack (4)
Rubric: Legal Mumbo Jumbo & annikapunditry & photoshopaholic

June 26, 2005

Tom's Lost It

Somebody give the man some Prozac.


More at Wizbang.

[Also, i linked to Beth. Because she said i could.]

Posted by annika, Jun. 26, 2005 | link | Comments (12)
Rubric: Celebrity Watch & photoshopaholic

June 13, 2005

Stick It

Now that the election is long over, isn't it time to do something about that faded "W" sticker on the ass of your car?

Annoy your liberal friends and neighbors anew with this baby.

Posted by annika, Jun. 13, 2005 | link | Comments (14)
Rubric: photoshopaholic

May 05, 2005

Paula Hits The Road With The Hot Tub Friends... Again

This time she's on a mission.

Paula's car

Posted by annika, May. 5, 2005 | link | Comments (10)
Rubric: Hot Tub Friends & photoshopaholic

April 07, 2005

If You Have To Explain A Joke...

It occurred to me that nobody except Sheila got my last photoshop joke. Which, by the way is the freakin' funniest thing i ever done. To paraphrase Betelgeuse: i've looked at it about a HUNDRED AND

Anyways, for you cultural illiterates, convicted hit-and-run driver Paula Abdul is driving, and that black dude is Ben Vereen. It's an obscure reference to this infamous 1992 incident: when

Entertainer Ben Vereen was critically injured when he was struck by a van while walking along the Pacific Coast Highway near Malibu, California. The driver, producer/composer David Foster, was not charged. Some hours earlier, Vereen had run into a tree while driving his own car. He blames that mishap for the later accident. He said, 'I had hit my head on the steering wheel but felt fine. Later that evening as I was walking in Malibu, I had [a] stroke as a result of that accident.' Vereen says he then stumbled into the roadway and was hit by the van.
Freaky. You don't remember that? Anyways, the rest of the joke is just my weird imagination. The old man is just some old man. And there's no particular reason why Marv Albert and Paige Davis would be double dating with Paula and Pee-Wee, except that it makes some absurd kind of sense to me.

Got it? Okay now go back and look at it and laugh dammit, LAUGH!

Posted by annika, Apr. 7, 2005 | link | Comments (11)
Rubric: photoshopaholic

March 27, 2005

On PCH With The Hot Tub Friends

Meanwhile out on Pacific Coast Highway...


You folks in L.A., be careful out there.

Posted by annika, Mar. 27, 2005 | link | Comments (1)
Rubric: Hot Tub Friends & photoshopaholic

March 26, 2005

Spring Break With The Hot Tub Friends

B-list celebrities need Spring Break, too.

i recently obtained some exclusive footage of the time when three of our hot tub friends met Jessica Alba.

i Hope your Spring Break was enjoyable, too.

Posted by annika, Mar. 26, 2005 | link | Comments (3)
Rubric: Hot Tub Friends & photoshopaholic

March 22, 2005

Hollywood Hot Tub

Poor Pat O'Brien. No more partyin' for a while, you freak.

Them celebrities can get pretty wild, though. Wouldn't you like to have been at this party?

You're right, i guess not.

Posted by annika, Mar. 22, 2005 | link | Comments (6)
Rubric: Hot Tub Friends & photoshopaholic

March 18, 2005

Useless Friday Ego Trip

Once again, in lieu of actual blog content, it's time for Friday photoshopped self-promotional nonsense.

This week we examine: Annika Gyrl: The unauthorized annikabiography.


List Price: .35¢
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Want it delivered Monday, March 21? Order it in the next 15 hours and 44 minutes, and choose One-Day Shipping at checkout.

93 used & new from .01¢

Edition: Hardcover
Average Customer Review: star based on 3 reviews

Were this thing ever to see print, it would surely be filled from end to endpaper with the most shocking debauchery of a type that would cause Mr. Verdana to blush, Ms. Arial to shield her eyes, and both Mr. Times and Mr. New Roman to run for cover.

Posted by annika, Mar. 18, 2005 | link | Comments (6)
Rubric: photoshopaholic

March 11, 2005

It's Friday, So In Lieu Of Actual Blog Content...

...i bring you photoshopped self-promotion.


Yes, this is an actual recruiting poster, rejected by the DoD.

Posted by annika, Mar. 11, 2005 | link | Comments (1)
Rubric: photoshopaholic

March 08, 2005

Fourteen Minutes To Go!

Yesterday they mentioned my idea on MSNBC, and now today they're talking about me on Fox News! Click on the picture to see the clip.


Fame! i wanna live forever!

Remember the annika's Blogversary Poker Party is Wednesday night at 7:00 p.m. California time.

remember... remember... remember...

Posted by annika, Mar. 8, 2005 | link | Comments (4)
Rubric: On The Blogosphere & photoshopaholic

March 06, 2005

Softcore Robotica

Pollhost censored me.

If you click on "My most controversial poll ever: Which two androids should be fucking?" you will find that they shut me down without even a warning. Those bastards.

But i'm not deterred by the new decency standards. As a proud blogger, if i want to write about robots fucking, i will insist on my first amendment right to use the f-word.

Anyways, the excitement of my "most controversial poll ever" died down pretty quickly after the result became a forgone conclusion. Last i checked, i looked like about 70% of voters wanted to see Star Trek Voyager's Borg chick, 7 of 9, get together with the Daryl Hannah replicant from Blade Runner.

Not a bad choice you pervs, but if you ask me, the obvious choice should have been Inspector Gadget and the late Optimus Prime. Two transformers? Come on people. Think of the all mechanical/sexual permutations that would have been possible.

At any rate. i aim to please, so here's your robotic fantasy come to life:


As for me, if i could get it on with the android of my choice, it would have to be this hottie, no contest.

Posted by annika, Mar. 6, 2005 | link | Comments (8)
Rubric: photoshopaholic

March 01, 2005

Sheets Bird Addresses The Fubar Convention

The challenge: create a photoshop image that is even more freakin' disturbing than yesterday's Ward Churchil image.

Mission accomplished? i'll let you be the judge.


That's pretty ugly, but not as ugly as what he said on the floor of the Senate today, when he equated Senate Republicans with Hitler. Radio Blogger has the details.

Bird has completely lost his senses. How ironic for a Klansman to be lecturing on Nazism. At least he knows his subject.

By the way, i fully support this idea. If it's good enough for our stamps and money, it's good enough for West Virginia.

Posted by annika, Mar. 1, 2005 | link | Comments (3)
Rubric: annikapunditry & photoshopaholic

Full Meltdown

Ward Churchill is in full meltdown mode. Last Thursday, he swatted a newspaper at a Denver tv reporter, when the reporter tried to ask about the "Winter Attack" painting. Churchill wants to get fired. Like the Pearcy couple here in Sacramento, he thrives on his own controversy. He lives for it.


The University may oblige him.

Internal discussions at Colorado University are centering on a buyout offer to controversial professor Ward Churchill in order to quell the tempest caused by his characterizations of victims of Sept. 11, 2001, as 'little Eichmans' and to avoid a costly, drawn-out lawsuit, the Denver Post reports.

. . .

Colorado regents have authorized an internal review of Churchill's writings and speeches to determine if he should be fired. A decision is scheduled for the week of March 7, although Churchill could appeal if the university terminates his employment. Such a dismissal, even if not mired in the controversy surrounding Churchill's case, could last years and inpose [sic] expensive legal costs.

What's the pool on his last day at CU?

Posted by annika, Mar. 1, 2005 | link | Comments (17)
Rubric: annikapunditry & photoshopaholic

February 16, 2005

How Committed A Fan Are You?

No no, i'm not expecting everyone anyone to get an annie's journal tattoo...

annie's journal tattoo

...although i won't discourage the idea.

Now that i think of it, that would be a great way to advertise - and i need only 93 more links to pass fatbody Oliver Willis on the Ecosystem!

Posted by annika, Feb. 16, 2005 | link | Comments (11)
Rubric: Pithy and/or Lame Thoughts & photoshopaholic

January 28, 2005

Carnival Of The Poetries Update

Oh my, how could i have missed Kevin's latest haiku offering, on the Star Wars meme. An excerpt:

Princess Leia knows
she can never tell poor Han
that she blew Chewie
If Kevin were a gigantic slow moving furry bearded ram (and i can point to no evidence that he is not), i might be tempted to dub him the Basho of the Bantha.

While you're at it, check out my lastest attempt to augment my referrals.

Posted by annika, Jan. 28, 2005 | link | Comments (7)
Rubric: Poetry & photoshopaholic

January 18, 2005

Yet More Useless Fortune Cookie Blogging

Interesting thought...


Sounds like fun, though.

Posted by annika, Jan. 18, 2005 | link | Comments (0)
Rubric: Pithy and/or Lame Thoughts & photoshopaholic

Yet More Useless Fortune Cookie Blogging Again

i guess i should be happy that they're reading me in Peking, but still...


How rude.

Posted by annika, Jan. 18, 2005 | link | Comments (0)
Rubric: Pithy and/or Lame Thoughts & photoshopaholic

Useless Fortune Cookie Blogging

An oldie but a goodie:


Posted by annika, Jan. 18, 2005 | link | Comments (0)
Rubric: Pithy and/or Lame Thoughts & photoshopaholic

Commercially Useless Fortune Cookie Blogging

i do have some good news...


Posted by annika, Jan. 18, 2005 | link | Comments (0)
Rubric: Pithy and/or Lame Thoughts & photoshopaholic

Useless Fortune Cookie Blogging, Gangsta Style

Heyo yeh!


A Snoop Dogg fan at the Peking Noodle Company?

Posted by annika, Jan. 18, 2005 | link | Comments (0)
Rubric: Pithy and/or Lame Thoughts & photoshopaholic

Useless February Second Fortune Cookie Blogging

Somebody stop me...


Posted by annika, Jan. 18, 2005 | link | Comments (1)
Rubric: Pithy and/or Lame Thoughts & photoshopaholic

January 17, 2005

Tonight's Fortune Cookie

So i got that goin' for me...


...which is nice.

Posted by annika, Jan. 17, 2005 | link | Comments (4)
Rubric: Pithy and/or Lame Thoughts & photoshopaholic

December 31, 2004

Happy New Year!

What a year it's been. i almost hate to see 2004 go. But it's time to celebrate an even more exciting year to come. Wow, 2005 already!

Have a great NYE everybody! Be safe. You know the drill: designate a driver and don't forget to bundle up when you're out in the weather. Don't want to start the year off with a nasty cold.

Thanks for all your many kindnesses this past year, and for just stopping by to read my nonsense. i love you all and i'll see you next year!

Posted by annika, Dec. 31, 2004 | link | Comments (20)
Rubric: photoshopaholic

December 06, 2004

My Idea Is Picking Up Steam

Thanks to the Instalanche, word is getting out about my great idea. Check out this exclusive photo, from last night's Kennedy Center Honors gala, where i imagine there was a lot of behind the scenes lobbying on behalf of Sir Elton.


It's only a matter of time before the mainstream media picks up on this, and when it happens, i plan to take full credit, of course.

Posted by annika, Dec. 6, 2004 | link | Comments (6)
Rubric: annikapunditry & photoshopaholic