...it's not dark yet, but it's gettin' there...
There's no question in my mind that Kofi Annan is on his way out as the U.N.'s generalissimo. But who should take his place? Perhaps you can guess who i would like to see as the next Secretary General.
i'm totally serious about this. Totally serious. Let's look at Elton John's qualifications, shall we?
Please join me in this crusade. Now that Dan Rather is quitting, i need a new crusade. You can help. Next time the subject of the United Nations comes up at work, mention to your co-workers that you think Elton John would make an excellent Secretary General. Word will undoubtedly spread to the right people. Also, if you like to call radio talk shows, why not mention it on the air? That'd get the word out even faster.
If you have a blog, feel free to copy and post my sidebar ad, which you'll find if you scroll down my main page. And i guess the best way to help would be to email the United Nations itself. Their address is inquiries@un.org.
The motto of my new grass-roots movement will be "Why the 'ell not you bloody sons-a-bitches!" Which is what i would imagine Sir Elton would say if he were on board with this whole thing. Or if he knew about it at all. Which he doesn't, since i have no idea how to contact him. But i'm sure he'd be okay with it, because the idea is sure to catch on like wildfire.
The bitch is back!
Posted by: ken on Dec. 4, 2004SO long as England is a permanent member of the security council, no Brit may serve as SG. Same rule for all permanent member countries.
Sorry.
Posted by: John Fembup on Dec. 4, 2004Besides he's as irresponsible with money and its management as Kofi Annan was with the UNs.
Posted by: eduardo on Dec. 4, 2004England ain't a member of the Security Council. And a bloke from Engerlund is called an Englishman not a Brit.....
With love from Scotland .......the best part of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.... 8-)
Elton couldn't do the job for less than 2700000 a year on his flower allowance, 245000 for shoes and his 'friend' David would have to be appointed Ambassador to the New York Fashion Show...
Posted by: dave t on Dec. 4, 2004He pissed away a $300 million fortune. He'd be perfect for the job!
Posted by: Protagonist on Dec. 4, 2004Plus, serving simultaneously as a secretary and a general may please Mr. John.
Posted by: croc rock on Dec. 4, 2004And he seems to be wearing my maternal grnadmother's sofa...
Posted by: richard mcenroe on Dec. 4, 2004It would give my wife somthing to like about the UN
Posted by: kitagod on Dec. 4, 2004"SO long as England is a permanent member of the security council, no Brit may serve as SG. Same rule for all permanent member countries."
Great, then Bill Clinton is also ineligible. Huzzah!
Posted by: John on Dec. 4, 2004For the record: the UK is a permanent member of the security council, therefore Sir Elton could not be the head honcho. Look it up... http://www.un.org/Docs/sc/unsc_members.html
cheers
Posted by: merritt on Dec. 4, 2004Not only has he met the Queen... he IS a queen!
There is also that very unfortunate "Pig" comment in Taiwan. Truth is no defense.
Posted by: Casca on Dec. 4, 2004I think He illuded to a desire to be SG as far back as the seventies. Check the lyrics of "Your Song." "I sat on the roof, and kicked off the moss.." I think that's what an SG does.
I'm all for it, Embrace Diversity, but don't get caught.
Posted by: Pops on Dec. 4, 2004I love the headlines on the page. Talk about self serving dreck. I doubt Elton John has this big an ego.
Posted by: Slam Smith on Dec. 4, 2004Sir Elton would probably consider the duties too tedious and borong.
Posted by: d-rod on Dec. 4, 2004What UN job would Elton give to Bernie Taupin?
Two things are for certain:
(1) He would create a new United Nations Fashion Commission.
(2) He would press through resolutions calling for the immediate execution of all lip-syncing singers.
Posted by: Mark on Dec. 4, 2004So I said "England" and not "UK". Big deal. Anyway, consider this.
The British Isles are composed of four races of man
. . . the Scottish, who keep the sabbath--and everything else they can get their hands on.
. . . the Welsh, who pray on their knees--and on their neighbours.
. . . the Irish, who don't know what they want, but are willing to fight for it anyway.
. . . and the English, who consider themselves a race of self-made men, thereby relieving the almighty of a terrible burden.
Surely, then, Bono or Tom Jones would be far better candidates than Sir John, even if they were eligible.
Posted by: John Fembup on Dec. 4, 2004Even if permanent members were allowed to serve as Secretary General (I wasn't aware of the restriction), I believe that politics dictates that a Third Worlder (or a neutral First Worlder) serve as Secretary General.
If you REALLY wanna give the UN fits, nominate Ariel Sharon.
Posted by: Ontario Emperor on Dec. 4, 2004Hey, why not Dan Rather?
Posted by: Kevin Murphy on Dec. 4, 2004At least they could get together to sing "Feed the World" again~ imagine the possibilities! Don't forget "Hold me closer Tony Danza" or something like that....
Posted by: bodaciousmo on Dec. 5, 2004Can't you guys see that her finals have blown the girl's mind?
She's fucking with ya.
Annie, finish the tests, take a week, and come back with some more serious stuff. Elton belongs with the Skankwoman.
Posted by: shelly on Dec. 5, 2004Very good Fembup. Are you familiar with Flanders & Swann? I direct you to their "Song of Patriotic Prejudice":
The English, the English, the English are best
I wouldn't give tuppence for all of the rest.
The rottenest bits of these islands of ours
We've left in the hands of three unfriendly powers
Examine the Irishman, Welshman or Scot
You'll find he's a stinker, as likely as not.
Do yourself a favor, and follow the link. They're an obscure gem of Western Civilization, and they make Tom Lehrer look like a punk:
http://www.nyanko.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/fas/anotherhat_song.html
Well, do we have to worry about a son or anything who will stick his hand in the till?
Posted by: Jerry on Dec. 5, 2004Son, no. "Anything," yes.
Posted by: Attila Girl on Dec. 5, 2004Never, and I mean NEVER mention Elton John and spunk in the same sentence!!!! For goodness sake I was just getting ready for dinner!
Posted by: Pursuit of Happiness on Dec. 5, 2004Flanders and Swann indeed!
"Mud, Mud, glorious mud
Follow me follow, down to the hollow
And there we shall wallow
in glorious glorious mud."
Well, OK, it’s better when sung. Their one about the London bus sticks in the mind, as does I’m a Gnu, spelt GNU......
Sorry, memories of an English childhood coming out.
John F....Bono is from Eire, that part of Ireland not part of the UK, so he can serve as Sec Gen....Tom Jones can’t.
After careful consideration and an examination of the various candidates (Elton John, John Wayne, Vaclev Havel), I have decided to throw my support to Boy George.
Posted by: Ontario Emperor on Dec. 7, 2004Boy George? i don't think so. He's gay and he dresses funny.
Posted by: annika on Dec. 7, 2004