...it's not dark yet, but it's gettin' there...

February 27, 2008

Swedish Humor

Here's some Swedish humor for y'all. Hope you haven't already seen it.

Posted by annika, Feb. 27, 2008 | link | Comments (6) | TrackBack (0)
Rubric: C.T.O.T.I.O.T.D. & Sex Please

December 28, 2006

Happy Christmas!

I hope you all got exactly what you wanted!

h/t Pursuit.

Posted by annika, Dec. 28, 2006 | link | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)
Rubric: Sex Please

November 21, 2006

Size Matters... Even Underwater

Another study, which confirms the obvious. Females prefer males with bigger gonopodia.

Data in hand, Langerhans exposed about 50 females, one at a time, to video images of a male of average proportions at one end of an aquarium and an outsized male at the other end.

"They chose the larger one over and over," Langerhans said. "All females had the same preference."

Don't feel bad though guys, the study also suggests that you might be able to solve your little problem by simply moving to a "predator free environment."
"We found that in predator-free environments gonopodia size was larger, as there is minimal cost for large genitalia in that environment," Langerhans said. For the record, the sex organs of the predator-free guppies were 15 percent longer, on average.
Oh yah, I forgot to mention it. The study was done on fish.

Posted by annika, Nov. 21, 2006 | link | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)
Rubric: Sex Please

September 27, 2006

Celebrity Sex Videos Nobody Wants To See

Radical Redneck alerted me to the following bit of celebrity gossip:

He may have played nerdy eighth-grader Samuel (Screech) Powers in the sitcom "Saved by the Bell." But former TV geek Dustin Diamond can now take his place with Colin Farrell, Tommy Lee and Kid Rock as the star of his very own sex tape.

Everyone who remembers Diamond as a lovable putz is in for a shock once they see a 40-minute video in which he engages in a kinky three-way with two women, sources tell us.

We can't get too graphic here, but word is that the action includes some bodily functions and an act known as a "Dirty Sanchez."

I looked up "Dirty Sanchez" in the Rolodex of Love [nsfw]. Then I wished I hadn't.
Dirty Sanchez: A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggie style, you insert your finger into her asshole. You then pull it out and wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin shit mustache. This makes her look like someone whose name is Dirty Sanchez.

Anyways, there's nothing that might induce me to want to watch Screech and two chicks fucking on video. In fact, John McCain might want to add that to his list of prohibited torture methods, just in case anybody at the CIA gets creative.

So I got to thinking. Who else might make the list of Celebrity Sex Videos Nobody Wants To See?

Free polls from Pollhost.com
I would be most likely to want to gouge my own eyes out after watching a celebrity sex video starring:
Barbra Streisand Little Richard Roseanne Barr Andy Dick Whoopi Goldberg Don Imus Joan Rivers Al Franken Kathy Lee Gifford Jesse Jackson other   

Posted by annika, Sep. 27, 2006 | link | Comments (9) | TrackBack (0)
Rubric: Celebrity Watch & Sex Please

August 29, 2006

This Time The Paparazzi Have Gone Too Far!

Barbie's honeymoon pictures. [NSFW]

Which begs the question, if Barbie and Ken broke up, what was she doing with Ken on her honeymoon? And where was G.I. Joe?

Posted by annika, Aug. 29, 2006 | link | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)
Rubric: Sex Please

July 07, 2006

Hitch Explains The Blow Job

Am I the only one who thinks it unseemly that the author of a scholarly work about Thomas Jefferson should also write an article about fellatio?

Be that as it may, Christopher Hitchens did just that. His article for Vanity Fair, is heavy on literary references, but contains one piece of etymological trivia that I'd always wondered about. Why do they call it a "blow job" when, as Chevy Chase once said, "you're not supposed to blow on it; that's just a figure of speech."

The crucial word "blowjob" doesn't come into the American idiom until the 1940s, when it was (a) part of the gay underworld and (b) possibly derived from the jazz scene and its oral instrumentation. But it has never lost its supposed Victorian origin, which was "below-job" (cognate, if you like, with the now archaic "going down").
Interesting. Of course, "sucking cock" is also a misnomer. If this were a more confessional blog, I might tell you the story of a certain fourteen year old's first encounter with a boy, wherein they both discovered the truth of that last statement, embarrassingly so for her, but painfully so for him.

Hitchens has a theory about why the blow job has become the quintessentially American sex act of late. It's not that Monica was so influential. It's really about the ADA, according to British transplant Hitch.

There is another thinkable reason why this ancient form of lovemaking lost its association with the dubious and the low and became an American handshake and ideal. The United States is par excellence the country of beautiful dentistry. As one who was stretched on the grim rack of British "National Health" practice, with its gray-and-yellow fangs, its steely-wire "braces," its dark and crumbly fillings, and its shriveled and bleeding gums, I can remember barely daring to smile when I first set foot in the New World. Whereas when any sweet American girl smiled at me, I was at once bewitched and slain by the warm, moist cave of her mouth, lined with faultless white teeth and immaculate pink gums and organized around a tenderly coiled yet innocent tongue. Good grief! What else was there to think about? In order to stay respectable here, I shall just say that it's not always so enticing when the young ladies of Albania (say) shoot you a cheeky grin that puts you in mind of Deliverance.
Hitch also mentions the movie Deep Throat, and it's importance to American cultural development.
[I]n 1972 . . . some amateurs pulled together $25,000 for a movie that eventually posted grosses of $600 million. Is this a great country or what? This film, with performances by Harry Reems and Linda Lovelace, was one of the tawdriest and most unsatisfying screen gems ever made, but it changed the world and the culture for good, or at any rate forever.
Having seen Deep Throat at a high school slumber party years ago, I can't say I understand Hitch's praise. It was a pretty sucky film, literally and figuratively. I don't remember much about it, except that me and my friends couldn't stop laughing, which means it was either really cheesy, or we were really stoned. I also remember wondering how Linda Lovelace did that. They must have used some kind of special effects, is all I can think, because what I saw was not physically possible.

As long as we're on the subject, I have a blow job related philosophical question. It's a non-rhetorical one for the comments section if you choose to weigh in. It seems there are two schools of thought regarding the power distribution within a duo a fellatio.

School one views the person doing the sucking as the one with all the power. Quite simply, this school argues that despite the apparent subservience of the fellator's posture, and the work:reward ratio involved, it is the sucker rather than the suckee who is in command. The argument is based on the fact that at any time, at the whim of the fellator, the fellatee might find himself in a World Of Hurt According To Garp. If you know what I mean.

The second school of thought on the power relationship issue vis-a-vis dicksucking, tends to scoff at the former school's "Garp" argument. This more inferential argument can be summarized thusly: Since fellators service a fellatee willingly and almost never cause harm, it can be surmised that the fellatee has power akin to a master-slave relationship. As one arrogant guy said to me during a discussion of this very issue, "A powerful king won't let anyone with a sword near him. But the most powerful king surrounds himself with swordsmen, because he knows nobody would dare hurt him."

Interesting point. But still I would come down on the side of the fellator as the one with all the power. Because she/he still gets to decide whether, when and for how long the job gets done.

And how well.

h/t to Blogger Ale.

Update: Essential reading: Oral Sex for Dummies, by JoanC: Part I and Part II. Even if you think you know the subject, I gaurantee you won't think so after reading Joan.

Posted by annika, Jul. 7, 2006 | link | Comments (12) | TrackBack (0)
Rubric: Sex Please

April 18, 2006

Bavarian Dingle Loaf?!

I must confess that I've never heard of Bavarian Dingle Loaf. But apparently it's like catnip to a kitten. Or a sex-kitten. The Weekly World News confirms this fact:

HEY, GUYS! You can bed more babes than you can shake a stick at by feeding them a medley of three "sex foods" that drive women wild with desire: Raw oysters, foot-long weenies, and the Old World favorite, "Bavarian dingle loaf!"
I can't eat raw oysters. I got really sick off them about ten years ago, so I won't eat them anymore. I've never noticed any aphrodisiacal properties to the Dodger Dog (although they seem to have worked for Steve Garvey). But the Bavarian Dingle Loaf has me intrigued.
"Nothing is 100 percent, of course. But in nine cases out of 10, women who eat these foods are going to come on strong. And they aren't going to care what you look like or how much money you have.
"Bavarian dingle loaf is the icing on your cake. You can buy all the ingredients to make it from scratch. Or you can just do what I do: Buy a can of biscuit dough and knead it all together into a big ball.

"Then roll it out by hand into the shape of manly privates. You can even throw in family jewels on one end if you like."

Bill K., of Franklin, Tenn., says he tried the wonder foods on his female supervisor at work, "a real witch who hated my guts."

"I took oysters and the dingle bread to work, and gave them to her for lunch," he recalls. "The next thing you know we're in the stockroom doing it like Chihuahuas in heat.

"I even got a raise out of it!"

Lol, maybe he put too much yeast in the dingle bread.

Seriously though. I don't know how scientific this research is. But I'd be willing to bet if you showed up at work with a penis shaped pastry for your female boss, you'd probably be cleaning out your desk before lunch.

Update: In case your interested: Penis shaped cake pans. Or if you really curious, and you're not at work, here are examples of some finished products within that genre.

Posted by annika, Apr. 18, 2006 | link | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)
Rubric: Sex Please

March 13, 2006


You can thank me later.

Via Beth.

Posted by annika, Mar. 13, 2006 | link | Comments (7) | TrackBack (1)
Rubric: On The Blogosphere & Sex Please

February 20, 2006

Just Get It On Already


Are we gonna see this in print?

Posted by annika, Feb. 20, 2006 | link | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)
Rubric: Sex Please

February 12, 2006

V-Day Advice

Purses and bags: NO. Our tastes are way too specific and there's too many variables involved. Don't fool yourself into thinking you can figure them all out. Same goes for shoes.

Pajamagrams, Vermont Teddy Bears or anything else advertised on late night cable tv: NO. Don't announce to your honey that you put no thought into the gift and selected it while watching re-runs of the A-Team.

Jewelry: Depends on the counter. Generally, if you can find it under glass, it's a YES. If it's hanging on a rack, give at your own risk.

Chocolate: Godiva, Sees, Dove? YES. Whitman's, Hershey's, Nestle? There better be another gift behind that one.

Flowers: Always a YES, unless they're the sole gift.

Gift Certificates: Book, record or department store certificates, NO. Everything else a MAYBE, but extra points for something out-of-the-ordinary, like an extravagant spa, a helicopter flight, horseback riding or something like that.

Useful housewares: Like a toaster or a blender? These might get you HURT. But anybody who doesn't know that probably doesn't date much anyway.

Fancy housewares: Like a set of delicate wineglasses? I'll give that a NOD.

Sex toys: I have nothing against sex toys, per se. But they're so overdone as a V-day gift, so I'm gonna say it's a NO. Valentines sex should be spontaneous, so don't announce that it's expected. As a surprise gift for no special occasion at all, there's a fun idea.

Lingerie: A possible YES. Here's the tip. Buy what she likes, not what looks good on Adriana. How do you know what she likes? Take a look in her drawer. If you don't see anything stringy, don't buy that three-pack of thongs. When in doubt, try boy-shorts. I don't know anyone who doesn't like boy-shorts.

Wine, beer or other intoxicants: If you have a nice evening planned, YES, by all means work this in. If you're thinking bubbly, I'd go with champagne over beer though.

Select wisely, and have a great Valentine's Day!

P.S. Remember to take the price tags off.

; )

Posted by annika, Feb. 12, 2006 | link | Comments (29) | TrackBack (0)
Rubric: Sex Please

December 04, 2005

U.C. Extracurriculars

At Berkeley, we had "the naked guy." Not to be outdone, U.C. Irvine can now boast about its "couple fucking in a professor's office."

Way to go aardvarks!*

Via Darleen.

* Or whatever they call themselves.

Posted by annika, Dec. 4, 2005 | link | TrackBack (0)
Rubric: Sex Please

July 26, 2005

Condoms And The Beaver

This is hilarious. Via The Cotillion.

By the way, this week's hostesses for the Ball are: Sadie (warning: femme fatale alert), Beth (warning: sticky fingers alert), Claire (warning: shoe fetish alert), and Denita (warning: Sweet lyrics alert)

Posted by annika, Jul. 26, 2005 | link | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Rubric: On The Blogosphere & Sex Please

May 16, 2005

"She's A Crazy Girl"

Like many people, i've been expecting to hear that Wilbanks, the runaway bride, was on a cross country booty call when she disappeared. The fact that i was right, merely confirms that human nature is soo predictable. It's a great example of Occam's Razor at work.

The New York Post reports:

Jennifer Wilbanks wasn't just running away from her wedding, she was running toward something — an old paramour with whom she had a steamy sexual relationship.

The bolting bride set her sights on New Mexico sometime during her three-day cross-country sprint from the altar because it's the home of a short-lived fling, several sources told The Post.

But if Wilbanks harbored hope of reigniting an old passion, she would have been sorely disappointed.

'I would have turned her ass in, no question,' former flame Todd Kendrick told The Post.

'And then,' he joked, 'I'd have asked for the $100,000 reward.'

. . .

Kendrick said that though 'worried' for Wilbanks, he 'had a feeling' foul play wasn't involved when she vanished in Georgia four days before her planned lavish wedding to fiancé John Mason.

'She's a crazy girl,' said Kendrick, who said he had a brief — and sexually charged — relationship with Wilbanks.

. . .

Said Kendrick, 'When I heard she was here, I thought, "Oh, God, why not Idaho?" — anywhere else, really.'

. . .

Kendrick, 41, said he knows Wilbanks, 32, through his younger sister — who was to be a bridesmaid in Wilbanks' jettisoned wedding and had thrown her a bridal shower.

'About three years ago, she and my sister came out to New Mexico together to visit me; I dated [Jennifer] a couple of times,' he said.

Like other men who've gone a few rounds with Wilbanks — several firemen, a dentist and gym buffs among them — Kendrick said Wilbanks had a healthy sexual appetite.

'She liked sex,' he said.

Nevertheless, Wilbanks' fiancé, Mason, has famously boasted he and his intended had abstained during the 18-month courtship leading up to their planned wedding.

Kendrick found it 'very disturbing' that Wilbanks tried to feed police a phony kidnap-and-rape story after she landed in New Mexico after a side trip to Las Vegas.

Posted by annika, May. 16, 2005 | link | Comments (13)
Rubric: Sex Please

April 24, 2005

i Have Been Grumpy Lately...

...but that's no reason to jump to any conclusions.

Posted by annika, Apr. 24, 2005 | link | Comments (2)
Rubric: Sex Please

April 21, 2005

Italian Sausages Judged Biggest

From Reuters:

Germans have average lengths of about 3.4 inches, Israelis 3.27 inches, Turks 3.07 inches and Filippinos 2.89 inches. Italians were the longest at 3.54 inches, and Americans averaged 3.46 inches.

The study did not measure the penises when they were erect.

All i can say about that is...


And that there's one group that's conspicuously absent from the study.

Posted by annika, Apr. 21, 2005 | link | Comments (11)
Rubric: Sex Please

January 05, 2005

I Hear The Law Firm Of Gypsy, Rose & Lee Is Hiring

And in the "aren't there too many lawyers already?" department, we have this story:

An assistant Broward County public defender who was forced to quit after charges of sexual misbehavior was cleared, reinstated and promoted on Monday.
Jayme Cassidy, who was forced to quit Nov. 28 by former Public Defender Alan Schreiber, was rehired on the first workday of new Public Defender Howard Finkelstein.

. . .

She was accused by Schreiber of harassing two male lawyers in the office, slapping a private lawyer at a Halloween party and dancing nude at a conference on sex cases in Orlando.

Well if a lawyer's gonna dance nude, where better to do it than at a conference on sex cases?
Finkelstein said Cassidy never danced nude but may have acted inappropriately on other occasions. He said any incidents happened outside the office and did not meet the definition of sexual harassment or creating a hostile workplace.

He blamed Cassidy's misbehavior on the breakup of her marriage.

Or could it be that her marriage broke up because of her behavior? Just a thought.

Posted by annika, Jan. 5, 2005 | link | Comments (5)
Rubric: Legal Mumbo Jumbo & Sex Please

November 15, 2004

What About Dick?

Kevin at Wizbang has the photo of Cheney's . . . umm . . . dick. Kinda puts W's flight suit "package" picture to shame.

Best comment to Kevin's post is by Christopher Cross: "That must be what they mean by 'gravitas.'"


Posted by annika, Nov. 15, 2004 | link | Comments (7)
Rubric: Sex Please

November 05, 2004

Important Safety Tip

What was this guy thinking?

A Romanian father-of-five needed medical help after he superglued a condom to his penis.

Nicolae Popovici, 43, told doctors he didn't want any more children, reports National newspaper.

The man, from Topraiser in Constanta county, named only as NP in the paper, already has five children.

He and his wife decided to use contraception but the condom they bought was too big so he stuck it on with glue.

After sex, the man realised he couldn't remove the condom and went to his village's medical clinic for help.

A nurse said: 'He even said that he thought the condom could be used several times and that he wanted it stuck on his penis so he could use it again later. We barely managed to remove it in the end.'

Good thing none of the glue leaked during the act. Ouch!

From Ananova.

Posted by annika, Nov. 5, 2004 | link | Comments (5)
Rubric: Sex Please

October 20, 2004

Gavin Newsom: Sex Symbol

Not much to add to this story. It's pretty freakin' funny as is:

Kimberly Guilfoyle Newsom took the stage at Thursday night's big Empire State Pride Agenda fund-raiser.

Guilfoyle Newsom was a last-minute sub for her husband at the gay rights event, which drew 1,100 guests. By all accounts, Guilfoyle Newsom -- who lives in New York and is a regular on Court TV -- gave an inspired speech.

But what really brought the house down was when she started talking about her hubby.

'I know that many of you wanted to see my husband and some of you had questions out there,' Guilfoyle Newsom said.

'Is he hot? Yeah.

'Is he hung? Yeah.

'Is he (she waved her hand to suggest bisexual)? Not unless you can give a better (she mimicked eating a banana) than me,' Guilfoyle Newsom said.

Clinton and Starr, what hast thou wrought?

From SFGate.

Update: Here, Bill and Gavin seem to disagree on what the definition of "hung" is.

Posted by annika, Oct. 20, 2004 | link | Comments (1)
Rubric: Sex Please & annikapunditry

September 20, 2004

"Hi Mom, College Is Fun, And I Finally Found A Diet I Can Stick To!"

Is the following a joke, or is it serious? Probably both.


From a site called College Sex Advice comes this:

The Freshman Sex Diet

The dreaded Freshman Fifteen - those infamous extra pounds that new college arrivals inevitably pack on. This weight gain typically results from a diet of dorm food, pizza parties, keggers, and junk-food fueled all-nighters, coupled with reduced physical activity. Luckily there is a fun and easy solution that can keep you in shape - have sex!

Sounds reasonable? Wait, it gets better:
Sex is great exercise and it's more fun than going to the gym. Sex is good for your circulation, improves aerobic fitness by increasing heart rate and respiration, and exercises many major muscle groups. Each time you have sex, you burn between 100 to 300 calories per hour, depending on how vigorously you go at it. If you can't find a partner, don't worry; masturbation burns calories too.

To get the most fitness value out of sex, be sure to include lot of different activities in your session . . . To spot-tone problem areas of the body, here are some specific exercises you can do during sex. Your partner doesn't even need to know that you're working out while you screw. Try to avoid counting reps under your breath - it could spoil the mood.

Some PG rated examples: "Cowgirl Quad Lifts," the "Inner Thigh Scissors Squeeze," and "Missionary Push Ups." You get the picture.
Chilling in front of the TV is prime snacking time for lots of folks. Same goes for listening to music or watching movies. Next time you settle down in front of the tube, instead of reaching into that bag of chips, reach down your pants and spank the monkey or pet your kitty. If you're with friends, don't be shy; try to get them in on the act too.

Umm, Ohhh-kay . . .

My days at Cal were pretty wild, but i think any guy who tried that, even at Berkeley, would've gotten a different kind of beat-down pretty quickly, and often.

i don't know. Has college changed that much since i was a freshman?

Link via Life of Brian.

Posted by annika, Sep. 20, 2004 | link | Comments (8)
Rubric: Sex Please

August 25, 2004

A Vaguely Olympics Related Poetry Day

It was so funny listening to Bob Costas talking about the Greek island of Lesbos tonight on the Olympics broadcast. He totally skipped over the one question that had half of America giggling. i can imagine all the Beavis and Butthead imitations going on in living rooms across the country: "huh-huh... he said lesbos... huh-huh."

Yes, strictly speaking, a lesbian is what you call someone from Lesbos. So how did that word become transformed into a gay moniker? And what does that have to do with poetry day? Read on:

The most famous lesbian of all was the classical Greek poetess Sappho, who lived in the seventh century B.C. She ran a school for girls on Lesbos that was sort of the artistic hippie commune of its day. She was such a revered poet that people called her "the tenth muse."

Sappho wrote a series of beautiful lyric poetry that survives only in fragments. It was written on stone tablets, which broke over the years and many of the pieces are missing. The only thing left of much of Sappho's work is a line here and a line there, leaving only glimpses of some romantic and evocative poetry, now lost forever.

Some of Sappho's poem fragments have been interpreted as evidence that she was indeed a lesbian, in both senses of the word. Thus the modern meaning of "lesbian." Although there is still some dispute about whether Sappho really liked girls or whether it was more of a sisterly thing she was writing about.

Sappho's poems have consistently resisted translation into English in a way that reveals their beauty to the non-Greek speaker. Or so i'm told. i took Latin, not Greek in high school, so i'll just have to take the poetry scholars' word for it.

Mary Barnard's recent translation is very nice, although i'm not sure how faithful it is to the original. Today's poem is an especially pretty translation by Barnard, which seems to be from a more intact fragment.

Yes, Atthis, you may be sure

          Even in Sardis
Anactoria will think often of us
of the life we shared here,

          when you seemed
the Goddess incarnate
to her and your singing
          pleased her best

Now among Lydian women she in her
turn stands first as the red-
fingered moon rising at sunset takes

precedence over stars around her;
her light spreads equally
on the salt sea and fields thick with bloom

Delicious dew pours down to freshen
roses, delicate thyme,
and blossoming sweet clover; she wanders

aimlessly, thinking of gentle
Atthis, her heart hanging
heavy with longing in her little breast

She shouts aloud, Come! we know it;
thousand-eared night repeats that cry
across the sea shining between us

i think it's appropriate that this week's poem is a selection from Sappho, in honor of the Olympic Games in general and a couple of American gold medalists in particular who, perhaps unintentionally, paid homage to the spirit of Sappho the other night.

Posted by annika, Aug. 25, 2004 | link | Comments (4)
Rubric: Poetry & Sex Please & Sports

July 14, 2004

F*** The Vote

On his radio show tonight, Alan Colmes mentioned the website of a new liberal propaganda tool called "Fuck the Vote" The site is absolutely not work safe, so here's the idea, in their own words:

SEXY LIBERALS OF THE U.S. UNITE in taking back the government from the sexually repressed, right-wing, zealots in control! Everyone knows liberals are hotter than conservatives - we look hotter, we dress hotter, our ideas are hotter, and we are infinitely hotter in the sack. We must use this to our advantage - as one more weapon in a diverse arsenal to strip the conservatives of their power (by stripping them of their clothes first).

Believe it or not, even the most seemingly deeply rooted right-wing ideologue can be manipulated by sex. As we all know, the sex drive is a powerful beast that has the potential to change people. People lie for sex, they cheat for sex, they even kill for sex - and you can be sure that they will change the way they think (and therefore vote) for sex. All you need to be armed with are your sexy progressive values, a razor-sharp wit, your genitalia, and a mindset that doesn't mind taking one for the team.

At Fuck The Vote we provide a Pledge Sheet that can be used conveniently before becoming physically intimate with a conservative, The Pledge Sheet asks the signee to make a promise to vote for anyone but George Bush in the November election. FTV has not endorsed a single candidate but recommends strategic voting. We also encourage FTV fans to take road trips this summer to swing(er) states to collect pledges. If you collect a pledge let us know about it on the Swinger States page! Have safe fun fucking over Bush while fucking for votes.

Interesting idea. However, i say what's good for the goose should be good for the gander. And really, what makes them think liberals are better in bed? i take issue with that whole premise. i can say from some little experience (i did go to high school and college in the Bay Area) that conservatives are just as hot, if not hotter,* just as sexy, if not sexier, and just as rockin' if not better in bed than any liberal. It's all that repressed sexual energy.

So, why not have a conservative version of this thing? Using the liberal pledge as a template, it might go something like this:

I, the undersigned, pledge my vote for George W. Bush on November 2, 2004 in return for getting laid by a hot freaky conservative.

I understand that this pledge is a symbol of good faith that I will cast my vote for a strong, safe and vibrant America, for a president who will stand up straight and tall for the values that make this country great, who will defend this country rigidly as we plunge forward into the future, and for a tax policy that stimulates growth by pumping more and more money into the private sector again and again and again. I further promise that i will not vote for candidates who promise a flaccid foreign policy or a limp and disappointing economic plan.

* Case in point.

Posted by annika, Jul. 14, 2004 | link | Comments (12)
Rubric: Sex Please & annikapunditry

July 01, 2004

Washington Skankwoman

Here's a great idea for getting rich. Actually, it's not a new idea. It's really a very old idea. It used to be called whoring. Now, you just add blogging, politics, and a ghost writer, then wait a year or so for the big cash advance.

In May 26-year-old Jessica Cutler was fired by Senator Mike DeWine, an Ohio Republican, from her $25,000-a-year job sorting mail in his office after she was discovered using the Senate computer to write a blog that supposedly chronicled her sexual exploits with six unidentified Washington men, including one she described as a prominent appointee of the Bush administration. Now Ms. Cutler has taken what, for generations of young women who have become involved with the powerful, has been the next logical step. She has become a writer. Yesterday she sold a novel based on her exploits to HyperionDisney (Walt). Her agent, Michael Carlisle of Carlisle & Company, said the price was "a substantial six figures," and Hyperion would not be more specific. Not only did he sell her novel, he said, but she will also pose nude for the November issue of Playboy. Ms. Cutler's novel will be called "The Washingtonienne," after the name of her blog. Mr. Carlisle said that Ms. Cutler would not speak to the press until the book was published, perhaps a year from now.
Via Michelle Malkin's blog and column.

Posted by annika, Jul. 1, 2004 | link | Comments (3)
Rubric: Sex Please

May 26, 2004

A Meme

Hugo had a great post on Monday about the number. Curiously, it generated no comments. Then tonight, a local radio talk show host named John Ziegler did a segment on the number. One caller made the point that women always lie about theirs, and i would agree. Whether it's inflated or under-stated, women tend to fudge the number in conversation.

i have this urge to reveal my own number, my true number, not because i'm either proud or ashamed of it, but because it's a topic that people have been talking about lately, and therefore a good subject for blogging. Also, it might be an excellent way to generate hits. Still, i'm reluctant to just blurt out my number. Even though this is my blog and one point of having a blog is to enable complete honesty, i do have a minor amount of tact left.

Then i thought, what if it were a meme? How's about this for a blog meme: Visitors try to guess the blogger's number and if anyone guesses correctly within a reasonable time, say before midnight, the blogger has to post a picture of her ass.

Part of me asks: is this a good idea? Another part of me says, what the hell, i'm curious what y'all think of me. And what i lack in tact, i can always make up in tackiness.

Posted by annika, May. 26, 2004 | link | Comments (24)
Rubric: Sex Please

May 19, 2004

There's That Mysterious Zipper Pull Again!

Really, what the heck does it mean?

Remember the last time we saw it?

Humility Update: i continue to be perplexed by the blogosphere's lack of response to my own brilliant, satirical photoshopping efforts, which in my humble opinion are consistently freakin' hilarious. Many thanks to Rick and Kevin for the comments. Otherwise i'd be wondering if my site was down today.

Posted by annika, May. 19, 2004 | link | Comments (4)
Rubric: Sex Please & The Huh? Files

May 06, 2004

They Saved Rasputin's Cock?

Yes they did. And this Ananova story informs us that a prostate professor is "particularly proud of the pickled penis."

Well, who wouldn't be proud of a penis that gives rise to inflated comments like the following:

"Napoleon's penis is but a small pod - it cannot stand comparison to our organ of 30 centimetres."

Posted by annika, May. 6, 2004 | link | Comments (5)
Rubric: Sex Please

April 18, 2004

"U need a good ********, I need a good **** and as well as your **** I would like to give u a good ******* as well."

Don't we all?

That's a text-sex quote from David Beckham, star of the kick-ball team Real Madrid. i'm not a big kick-ball fan, but i am curious as to how Beck can accomplish those things without using his hands.

Beck is a Sinatra fan too, i see. He also cracks on Singaporean men, how rude.

Alerted to this bit of naughtiness by Breanagh McTavish.

Posted by annika, Apr. 18, 2004 | link | Comments (1)
Rubric: Sex Please & Sports

February 09, 2004

The Clinton Effect

Two Houston middle school students caught in flagrante delicto.

There were five students total in the classroom at the time. They were in a class that was supposed to be under constant adult supervision, but when the teacher left, two of those students allegedly started doing something that has no place inside a school.

. . .

When an adult finally came back, two kids were allegedly having oral sex.

. . .

'They should punish, whatever they need to do, as far as the person that's involved in the situation,' said parent Patricia Western. 'That's outrage… Very outraged that it would take place in a school.'

You know, really, what's the big deal? As long as they're doing their homework, it's really nobody's business, right?

Posted by annika, Feb. 9, 2004 | link | Comments (7)
Rubric: Sex Please

February 02, 2004

Proof That These Stupid Quizillas Are Unscientific

She does wear her hair like me, though.


What's your sexual appeal?
brought to you by Quizilla

Posted by annika, Feb. 2, 2004 | link | Comments (4)
Rubric: Sex Please

January 28, 2004

No Jokes About How Deep That Play Was

For a spicy theatrical experience, come to Chile!

Update: Newman links to another Chile related story:

Men and women, most of them in their 20s, poured onto a cordoned-off street in central Santiago, Chile’s capital, to smooch for at least 10 seconds in a bid to set a world record for the largest number of people kissing simultaneously.

. . .

With more than 4,400 kissing couples, the Chileans easily eclipsed the current Guinness World Records mark set in February 2000 in Sarnia, Ontario, Canada, when 1,588 pairs locked lips.

Something weird's been going on in Chile. They're starting to go wild down there.
Chile, one of Latin America’s most socially conservative nations, began showing a more exhibitionist bent last year when over 3,000 people turned up on the same street to be photographed naked on a cold winter morning.
Maybe it's a side effect of being upside down for so long.

Posted by annika, Jan. 28, 2004 | link | Comments (2)
Rubric: Sex Please