...it's not dark yet, but it's gettin' there...
Is the following a joke, or is it serious? Probably both.
From a site called College Sex Advice comes this:
The Freshman Sex DietSounds reasonable? Wait, it gets better:The dreaded Freshman Fifteen - those infamous extra pounds that new college arrivals inevitably pack on. This weight gain typically results from a diet of dorm food, pizza parties, keggers, and junk-food fueled all-nighters, coupled with reduced physical activity. Luckily there is a fun and easy solution that can keep you in shape - have sex!
Sex is great exercise and it's more fun than going to the gym. Sex is good for your circulation, improves aerobic fitness by increasing heart rate and respiration, and exercises many major muscle groups. Each time you have sex, you burn between 100 to 300 calories per hour, depending on how vigorously you go at it. If you can't find a partner, don't worry; masturbation burns calories too.Some PG rated examples: "Cowgirl Quad Lifts," the "Inner Thigh Scissors Squeeze," and "Missionary Push Ups." You get the picture.To get the most fitness value out of sex, be sure to include lot of different activities in your session . . . To spot-tone problem areas of the body, here are some specific exercises you can do during sex. Your partner doesn't even need to know that you're working out while you screw. Try to avoid counting reps under your breath - it could spoil the mood.
Chilling in front of the TV is prime snacking time for lots of folks. Same goes for listening to music or watching movies. Next time you settle down in front of the tube, instead of reaching into that bag of chips, reach down your pants and spank the monkey or pet your kitty. If you're with friends, don't be shy; try to get them in on the act too.
Umm, Ohhh-kay . . .
My days at Cal were pretty wild, but i think any guy who tried that, even at Berkeley, would've gotten a different kind of beat-down pretty quickly, and often.
i don't know. Has college changed that much since i was a freshman?
Link via Life of Brian.
I don't know if it would be wise for women to adopt that as a method to reduce the "freshman fifteen" when they could possibly gain another 15 lbs. in their uterus's...........
Posted by: reagan80 on Sep. 21, 2004Uh, no, it doesn't seem to have changed that much. It's asinine, really, but disturbing too. There is an element among today's college students that sees anything private as essentially pathological. In other words, anything worth doing is worth doing publicly -- or at least worth discussing in public. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Posted by: Hugo on Sep. 21, 2004Hmmmmm, you know, I WAS thinking of heading back to school.
Posted by: Casca on Sep. 21, 2004i just spanked my monkey!
Posted by: Um Yeah on Sep. 21, 2004Women were and still are verbotten in the men's dorms where I went to college except for a few hours on weekends. If they wished to use the common rooms they had to be escorted and the guys were required to declare: "Lady in the Hall as they walked through." So, as you can see, sex in the dorms would likely not be received well.
This "sex advice" (or is that diet advice?)is so far removed from my college experience that I can't even imagine it. I mean, I can imagine it...oh never mind.
Posted by: Patrick on Sep. 22, 2004As a thirty-something back in college to finish up a few last classes, I can only imagine this isn't too far from the truth - however, I'm not that, ahem, close to the undergrad population to know for sure, nor will I ever be. They're rude and bratty enough to be offensive fully clothed.
But I can tell you I've seen enough ass crack and thong while I'm wandering around the campus, trying to mind my own frickin' business to last me the Rest. Of. My life.
Posted by: willow on Sep. 23, 2004Do the "enlightened" folk at College Sex Advice mention anything regarding the consequences of their advice? You know, like unwanted pregnancies and disease?
Or am I thinking WAY too far ahead?
Posted by: Mark the Sex Therapist on Sep. 23, 2004