...it's not dark yet, but it's gettin' there...
I used to insist on natural fibers only next to my skin. But people can change. And as the Democrats are constantly reminding us, change is good. (Most especially when one is talking about change of underwear; I think we'd all agree on that.)
So now I'm a microfiber girl. Not only is Calvin Klein's 365 Microfiber Stretch Bikini the most awesome underwear ever, I have discovered that its male counterpart is gauranteed to drive me nutty whenever my man wears 'em. Touchably soft, hehe.
Say it ain't so.
My parents, I'm sure, have pictures of seven-year-old Annie sporting the Madonna net vest, the dangly beaded earrings, the pleated skirt with dance tights, and most importantly the day-glo tanktop with matching socks and L.A. Gears.
[Those pictures must never see the light of day.]
But now I hear day-glo is making a comeback!
the current revival of black tights, black vests, winkle-pickers, porkpie hats, white-rimmed Ray-Bans, skinny jeans, skinny ties, skinny belts, crimped hair, asymmetrical hair, lace gloves, shoulder pads, pleated pants, bandage skirts, metal mesh and checkered Vans should have made the point that the ’80s was a decade rich in ideas so bad they were good enough to repeat. But neon? Wasn’t that the color of Boy George’s hair in 1984?What's up for next season? Acid wash? Swatches? Flashdance sweatshirts? Oh no. Please let it not be the jellies. For the love of God, not the jellies....
This spring smartly dressed women are taking their cues from the bursts of daffodils and tulips that make the drab concrete of city streets seem pleasingly vibrant, as if they were outlined with a highlighter. Their recipe is quite simple, in that they have taken Coco Chanel’s adage about accessories and turned it backward: Pile on all the beige, cream and navy you like, look in the mirror and then add one more piece in neon.
So I better make it good, huh?
I predicted the return of the peep-toe, I celebrated the year of the wedge heel, and I got completely blindsided by this season's gingham revival.
Combine all three fabulous trends and this is what you get.
For the girls, here's my recommendation for that upcoming Memorial Day barbecue or pool party, where you know you'll need to make an impression because he might be there.
Combine these wedges with some tailored shorts and sleeveless point collared blouse? I think so! To avoid the inevitable Mary-Ann comparisons, stay with solid colors. Re fabrics, linen adds class and you'll feel as cool as you look holding that fruity drink. Let your outfit do the flirting for you. I know you'll thank me when it's over.
From now on, when traveling by air, I plan to wear only cow-print clothing. Might as well dress the part.
Australia's leading moslem dude says any chick who's not dressed like this...
...is just asking to get raped.
Sheik Hilali was quoted as saying: "If you take out uncovered meat and place it outside ... without cover, and the cats come to eat it ... whose fault is it, the cats' or the uncovered meat's? The uncovered meat is the problem. If she was in her room, in her home, in her hijab [the headdress worn by some Muslim women], no problem would have occurred."Well, let's see, that means pretty much every female in the western world, I guess — including you, me, your sister, your mom, etc. We're all pieces of meat waiting to get eaten by a gang of cats.
Nice religion, assholes.
Check out the amazing transformation of a woman into a "model." The video, from Dove's Real Beauty campaign is at Beth's. It's an important message, as Beth says, "especially if you have daughters."
Dove's campaign site is here.
[It's the leisure suit. The guy's fashion sense hasn't changed since his embassy storming days.]
Yesterday was the 60th anniversary of the bikini.
No, not this bikini.
I'm talking about this kind!
So scandalous was the first modern-day bikini that the only female free-spirited enough to pose in one was a stripper. Parisian engineer-turned-designer Louis Reard released the suit at a fashion shoot on July 5, 1946. It was cut high on the hip, but the really stunning feature was that it bared the navel, a part of the body that in modern history had been off-limits for public display.Maybe so, but as the article points out, the bikini wasn't invented in 1946. It was only re-introduced. According to Wikipedia (font of all knowledge) "Two-piece garments worn by women for athletic purposes have been observed on Greek urns and paintings, dated as early as 1400 BC."The tiny two-piece shocker signaled the coming transformation of attitudes toward the body. Still, it would take more than a decade for most American women to get comfortable with wearing the skimpy suit.
The baring of the belly button was the big hurdle.
"I can't think of any situation in the thousand years before the '60s when it was acceptable to show the navel, '' said Kevin Jones, a curator and fashion historian at the Fashion Institute of Design & Merchandising in Los Angeles.
Here's a scene from the famous Roman "bikini girls" mosaic at the Villa Romana del Casale in Italy, which dates to the early 4th Century A.D.
(The chick on the left demonstrates something the Romans liked to call "nipplae slipae.")
Over the course of this blog, I've done a couple of bikini related posts. Let's take a look back, shall we?
Two years ago, I linked to a swimwear poll, which revealed that 7 out of 10 women own a bikini, and California girls prefer low-rise bottoms, while East coast girls like a mid-rise.
Last winter, I went all out and did a bikini fashion preview. In that post I predicted that polka dots would be "in," and I was right. I saw polka dots all over the place. Speaking of nipus slipus, that was the post where I coined the term ""dunstation."
I'll probably toast the bikini's 60th birthday with a fruity drink and a swim after work. That sounds like a plan. How will you celebrate?
The world's greatest blogger once had a tip jar, just so he could get a cheapo car.
I however, need a set of wheels like these:
Anybody wanna flow annika's journal a spare thou, so she can cruise the Westside in style?
England's The Sun newspaper will pay you £100 if they use your picture in the paper. All you have to do is wave the flag of St. George next to some local landmark, to show yourself as England's "furthest flung fan."
Hey, if I sent in a picture of myself next to the Hollywood sign, butt naked and waving a crusader symbol, I could be a page 3 girl, earn roughly $184.24, and piss off some islamofascists all at the same time!
Here's another reason this NoCal girl prefers SoCal these days: the Camarillo Premium Outlets.
When I told Betty that I needed some shoes and pants for work, she said, "I know just the place." Now I've been to the Vacaville outlets many times, and when I'm in Sacramento I usually go to the Folsom outlets, but neither compares to the Disneyland for shoppers known as Camarillo. I understand now how people can afford to live in L.A. The money you can save here is good for at least a couple of mortgage payments.
They got Nine West, Ann Taylor, Diesel, Bebe, Nike, Saks, Jones New York, Big Dog, the list goes on and on. The place was packed with people. I got a $70 pair of platform slides for $39 and the perfect khaki pencil skirt for work. Also a Timberland shirt for the boyfriend's birthday coming up. Unfortunately the summer shorts I've been needing eluded me. I have to go back.
Two additional attractions: it's on the flight path of the Camarillo airport and it's next door to a bunch of strawberry farms. I think I saw a P-38 landing, and afterwards we drove down the road and got fresh strawberries. So I'm a happy camper.
... or perhaps: The feminine answer to the shoe bomber?
Shoes that double as a stun gun.
But I like to think I can send a man 100,000 volts just by smiling!
: D
Via, Janette, Beth, Beth at SondraK's, LindaSoG, and Feisty, oh hell the whole Cotillion should get some!
Ever wish you could dress up your favorite stars? What would you do if you were the stylist for celebrities like Johnnie Depp, Amanda Bynes, Camilla Parker-Bowles, Bo Bice, or Nicole Richie, just to pick a few names at random from this awesome site.
Playing with this stuff is like being a little girl again. But I also get to snark at celebrities, which is always adult time fun.
Charlize with red hair and Pat Benatar lipstick/eye shadow? I just click a few boxes and there she is. And she looks awful. Maria Sharapova as a goth? Horrible.
Want to watch manic Angelina on the catwalk? Look in the games section. You can change her clothes instantly as she marches to an unheard soundtrack.
Craziest thing though. Even with access to Jessica Simpson's wardrobe, I still can't find a damn thing to wear.
The category is "Fash-ism," for $300. It's a video clue.
Trevor is in the lead with $1600, Casca has $1200, Victor has $1100, Phil has $500, Skippy and D-Rod have $400 each, Jasen has $300, Ken and Kyle have $200 each. Astoundingly, the two Daily Doubles still haven't been found.
Wearing flip-flops for certain occasions is not only something that can get you in trouble, it can also get you killed!
Or maybe just seriously injured.
The category is "Fash-ism," for the big 500.
The category is "fash-ism," for 200.
Victor has the board. The category is "fash-ism." for 100.
Today's exciting French Open final between two absolute hotties, Argentina's Mariano Puerta and Spain's Rafael Nadal, is a great match. But i had to break away between sets to comment about their awful fashion choices.
Puerta chose an orange shirt to wear on a clay court. Not good. Really bad, actually. Maybe that was part of his strategy, to distract Nadal with some sort of ill-conceived camouflage idea.
But Rafael Nadal's outfit takes le cake. A chartreuse sleeveless top with white capris? Qu'est-ce que c'est? Il est terrible! i want to match them with some cute lace-up espadrilles, dude. No guy can pull off that look, not even one as gorgeous as Rafael. Tennis player thighs are the best looking thighs in the world; why cover them up?
And the panty-lines! Guys, white pants are why they invented thongs. Any girl will tell you. That's embarrassing. They should try some lycra boxers or something.
Okay, time for me to get back to the sweaty grunting latins. They're tied, one set all, in the third set.
[Welcome, Slate readers! Why not bookmark annika's journal?]
White thongs voted "sexiest piece of clothing."
Germans take sides on the thong issue.*
And British soldiers, sailors and airmen told to behave.*
That last story gives new meaning to the term "airmen," doesn't it?
*Via WastedBlog.
Happy Memorial Day everyone. And especially to all veterans and active military, thank you and God bless you all.
A friend of mine told me yesterday why none of my a's j t-shirt designs have ever sold, even though my Cafépress site has been up for ages. "They're too gay," he said in pithy and/or lame language.
<shameless self-promotion>Well, fash-ism problem solved. Here is my brand new tuff t-shirt design, incorporating the Maltese Cross so popular these days with the biker crowd; and the URL is in a grafitti style font:
i honestly don't know about the quality of the t-shirts from cafépress, i've never bought one, but i do have some mugs and they came out beautifully. These shirts are $15.00 to $18.00, depending on the style. Seems pricey, but i only get a couple of bucks out of it; the rest goes to those pimps at cafépress. (Anyways, you know i'll put the money to good use. Gambling debts, sex toys, court-ordered restitution, and the like.)
Guys could personalize them with a few motor oil (or bbq sauce) stains, then wear one to the gym. Why not broadcast to the world how smart and tuff you are while you're lifting those barbells. And girls can tie the hem in a knot to show off their own little barbell, maybe while riding on the back of a Harley off Highway 101.
If you're reading annika's journal every day, like you're supposed to,* there's no reason why you shouldn't have your very own a's j t-shirt.
Now if i could just get Brittany or Lindsay or Paris to model one, i could retire wealthily.</shameless self-promotion>
_______________
* Yes, even on days when i don't post. You could be committing earlier posts to memory.
So Nancy Pelosi lost her shoe running out of the Capitol. It always sucks to lose a shoe, but luckily for the San Francisco congresswoman, hers was found!
The Maximum Leader had a really cute post yesterday, where he confessed to a certain confusion regarding my Fash-ism shoe poll on the sidebar.
Something has been bothering your Maximum Leader for WEEKS now about Annika's site. That damned Fash-ism poll near the top of the sidebar. What the hell are some of those things?Well, for the last word on women's fashion, especially footwear, i should refer all inquiries to the girls at Candied Ginger, who are the real experts. But, i thought that i might be able to help Maximum Leader out in my own way, with the following tutorial, complete with visual aids. i was unable to find enough examples solely from my own closet, since it's a complete mess, and half of my shoes are still back at my parents (including a very fine example of the t-strap pump). At any rate, what i didn't have, i googled. So read on, and learn, dear Maximum Leader:Your Maximum Leader knows they are all footwear. He understands basic pumps and boots. But what for the love of your Maximum Leader are: Mary Janes, d'Orsay pumps, t-straps (which sound quite sexy btw), peep toes, slingbacks, strappy sandals (which sound sexy in a granola-crunchy-Greatful-Dead-chicka way), kitten slides, and mules (which don't sound sexy at all).
. . .
So your Maximum Leader asks you... What are these other things?
Your Maximum Leader will inquire of Annika as well. But he is befuddled.
i'm pleased to learn that The Maximum Leader is hip enough to know the difference between
this basic pump: 
and this basic pump: 
which every girl owns.
That's a good start.
But as he might have guessed, there are many subsets to the general category of "women's dress pump." But if The Maximum Leader were to construct a Venn diagram of all the ways in the various styles overlap and intersect, the end result might look like a spirograph. So i'll keep it simple.
These are some cute Mary Janes: 
on the cover of the latest Macy's catalog.
However, those should never be confused with this Mary Jane: 
of course.
The d'Orsay pump is a little more obscure. Being a fan of museums (see his sidebar),
The Maximum Leader should already be familiar with the Musée d'Orsay in Paris. 
Leave it to the French to come up with the equally stylish d'Orsay pump. Here's an example: 
and here's one with an ankle strap:
The distinguishing feature is the lack of side panels. Very sexy.
T-straps are easy to figure out.
The strap looks like a T, thus: 
Don't ask me to explain why the g-string doesn't look like a G, though. 
We're talking about shoes today, so let's try and focus.
Peep-toes are simply open-toed pumps, like these: 
Did you notice that those shoes were also t-straps? See how fun this is?
Slingbacks are any shoe, flat or heeled, that has an open back secured by a strap around the heel.
Like so: 
and so: 
and so: 
Strappy sandals should be self explanatory. 
and i happen to love these.
On the other hand, kitten slides are not very self-explanatory. 
Kitten refers to the short heel, and a slide is anything with a mininal strap up front. Very comfortable, although not my favorite style.
This is a mule, 
but so is this: 
and this one, 
which i covet immensely. It's gorgeous. i just adore mules.
And finally, judging by the poll numbers, the ever popular Boot:
Either pointy toed: 
or Ken Wheaton safe: 
(Ken has this irrational fear of lethal looking shoes.)
It has been my pleasure to provide this service for you, Maximum Leader. If you have any further questions, please do not hesitate to ask.
Cafepress has changed the style of t-shirt they use for their shops. Now you can buy an annika's journal white t-shirt in the fabulous new Hanes Authentic Tagless Tee style! Also available in classy ash gray for a more subdued look.
With these new t-shirts by Cafepress, my merchandise is flying off the shelves as fast as it ever has!
Really.
Anyways, i hope this ringing semi-endorsement will help boost my sales.
i'm pleased to hear that Maria Sharapova is supplanting Anna Kournikova as a feminine icon of beauty and talent. That's because Maria's got game. Anna has a good bod and a flashy lifestyle, but even i could probably beat her on the court once out of every ten games. Maria, a Wimbledon champion at seventeen, seems to be the complete package:
Maria Sharapova, dressed head to toe in Louis Vuitton on Sunday evening, looked every inch a future fashion icon.And, at least up until now, Maria seems more down to earth than Anna turned out to be. Of course, that might all go out the window after the estimated ten to one hundred million pounds in endorsements starts rolling in. As a model, i think she could easily earn the same kind of money and attention that Anna enjoys, but i hope Maria resists that easy temptation and keeps pushing her game.. . .
She chose a gold lamé mini-dress with gauzy underskirt, gold snakeskin platform shoes and a turquoise, monogrammed evening bag. It was a brave decision but one that any 17-year-old with model good looks could easily pull off.
. . .
Nick Cox, fashion editor at Harpers & Queen, agrees that her look is perfect for fashion campaigns. 'Sharapova is classically beautiful, but she's also a blank canvas. You could manipulate her to look youthful or sexy or more glamorous and grown-up and that is the kind of versatility that fashion labels would look for. Anna Kournikova is quite limited because she has a prettier, sexy look. But Sharapova is much more sophisticated.'
Not pool, poll.
i'm pleased to find that The Sacramento Bee is not afraid to tackle the big issues that are foremost on the minds of Californians. Here's some interesting data:
Lands' End catalog and online clothing company recently completed a survey of more than 1,000 women ages 18 and older. One-third wished for a multipurpose suit; two-thirds say they spend their summer doing a lot more than sunbathing.. . .
[A] swimsuit, unlike a tube of lipstick, is anything but an impulse purchase. A lot of thinking goes into the buying. According to the NPD Group, a market research firm, nearly 70 percent of women make an outing of it.
. . .
[S]even out of 10 women own a two-piece bathing suit, designers recognize the average woman is still a size 14, so teeny-weeny bikinis, while great on the young, aren't as suitable for the young at heart.
. . .
'Believe it or not, one out of five women say they do yardwork or garden in their suits,' Thorson says. 'About 28 percent exercise in them.'
. . .
Venus Swimwear in Florida is 98 percent mail-order and online shopping, Randolph sees interesting demographics on what suits sell from coast to coast.
'East Coast goes more for a midrise, standard bottom; West Coast buyers opt for a retro, low-rise, California surfer-girl bottom.'
. . .
[T]hree out of four women spend less than $50 for a single swimsuit, most on sale. Two out of five expect it to last two years.
Think about shoes.*
Think.
About.
Pretty.
Shoes.
i do feel so much better now.
* A much needed contemplative moment inspired by the girls at Candied Ginger.
And i have nothing to wear.
Reading Candied Ginger, i saw Candace's pretty pink stilettos, which inevitably made me think about shopping. My roommate told me that Southern California has most likely finished its yearly week of rain and we can expect summer weather very soon. And all i have are sweaters and last year's tired t-shirts. i need a shopping trip now.
That train of thought led me to the internet, where i could do some preliminary vetting in preparation for tomorrow's binge fest. (The firm's bonuses were handed out today. When i looked at mine, i did a mini Dean yell.) The beginning of spring means new flip-flops, as Lorie pointed out weeks ago. And flip-flop shopping means Old Navy.
But wait, Polo is having a sale. What? Scalloped edged tees? And shorts, need shorts, must buy shorts. Even after eight months of living down here, my wardrobe is too San Francisky. My excellent selection of sweaters has become superfluous.
So, tomorrow's itinerary includes the old standbys: Banana Republic, Old Navy, And Nordstrom, where i wouldn't mind checking this lovely item out for size. Mmm-hmm.
Finally, i can report something that makes me happy about the direction of society. Even if it seems like a small thing.
Being feminine is back in style, and classic notions of prettiness are dictating the look for spring. Gone are the micro-minis and 'Matrix'-inspired vamps. Instead we have elegant floral-print frocks and terrific dresses with big skirts, dip dyes and scads of chiffon in saturated Technicolor that recall an era when, for better or worse, glamour was a way of life.Could it be that the designers are finally getting it? Women like to be women. Welcome chiffon, flower prints, pastels, glamourous curves. Welcome femininity. Maria Nero and Tree have the right idea. So do Richard Tyler and Cynthia Vincent at times. Still, i'm not willing to part with my roach killers just yet. Chiffon and roach killers? Hmmm.