...it's not dark yet, but it's gettin' there...

October 27, 2004

Fash-ism Tutorial For The Maximum Leader

The Maximum Leader had a really cute post yesterday, where he confessed to a certain confusion regarding my Fash-ism shoe poll on the sidebar.

Something has been bothering your Maximum Leader for WEEKS now about Annika's site. That damned Fash-ism poll near the top of the sidebar. What the hell are some of those things?

Your Maximum Leader knows they are all footwear. He understands basic pumps and boots. But what for the love of your Maximum Leader are: Mary Janes, d'Orsay pumps, t-straps (which sound quite sexy btw), peep toes, slingbacks, strappy sandals (which sound sexy in a granola-crunchy-Greatful-Dead-chicka way), kitten slides, and mules (which don't sound sexy at all).

. . .

So your Maximum Leader asks you... What are these other things?

Your Maximum Leader will inquire of Annika as well. But he is befuddled.

Well, for the last word on women's fashion, especially footwear, i should refer all inquiries to the girls at Candied Ginger, who are the real experts. But, i thought that i might be able to help Maximum Leader out in my own way, with the following tutorial, complete with visual aids. i was unable to find enough examples solely from my own closet, since it's a complete mess, and half of my shoes are still back at my parents (including a very fine example of the t-strap pump). At any rate, what i didn't have, i googled. So read on, and learn, dear Maximum Leader:

i'm pleased to learn that The Maximum Leader is hip enough to know the difference between

this basic pump: pumps3.jpg

and this basic pump: basics1.jpg  which every girl owns.

That's a good start.

But as he might have guessed, there are many subsets to the general category of "women's dress pump." But if The Maximum Leader were to construct a Venn diagram of all the ways in the various styles overlap and intersect, the end result might look like a spirograph. So i'll keep it simple.

These are some cute Mary Janes: maryjane2.jpg on the cover of the latest Macy's catalog.

However, those should never be confused with this Mary Jane: maryjane1.jpg of course.

The d'Orsay pump is a little more obscure. Being a fan of museums (see his sidebar),

The Maximum Leader should already be familiar with the Musée d'Orsay in Paris. Musee.jpg

Leave it to the French to come up with the equally stylish d'Orsay pump. Here's an example: dorsay2.jpg

and here's one with an ankle strap:

dorsay1.jpg The distinguishing feature is the lack of side panels. Very sexy.

T-straps are easy to figure out.

The strap looks like a T, thus: tstrap1.jpg

Don't ask me to explain why the g-string doesn't look like a G, though. g-string.jpg

We're talking about shoes today, so let's try and focus.

Peep-toes are simply open-toed pumps, like these: peeptoetstrap.jpg Did you notice that those shoes were also t-straps? See how fun this is?

Slingbacks are any shoe, flat or heeled, that has an open back secured by a strap around the heel.

Like so: sling1.jpg and so:  sling2.jpg and so:  slingb.jpg

Strappy sandals should be self explanatory. strappy1.jpg  and i happen to love these.

On the other hand, kitten slides are not very self-explanatory. kittenslides.jpg  Kitten refers to the short heel, and a slide is anything with a mininal strap up front. Very comfortable, although not my favorite style.

This is a mule, francis.gif  but so is this: mule1.jpg

and this one, mule2.jpg  which i covet immensely. It's gorgeous. i just adore mules.

And finally, judging by the poll numbers, the ever popular Boot:

Either pointy toed: boots2.jpg  or Ken Wheaton safe: boots1.jpg

(Ken has this irrational fear of lethal looking shoes.)

It has been my pleasure to provide this service for you, Maximum Leader. If you have any further questions, please do not hesitate to ask.

Posted by annika, Oct. 27, 2004 |
Rubric: Fash-ism



Comments

You know I love this post!!!

I have a pair of peep toe D'orsay pumps that are so cute. If I'm not feeling lazy later, I'll take a picture of them and post it to add to your collection here.

Posted by: ginger on Oct. 27, 2004

You are the greatest. Thanks. I should print this out and keep it for reference later. And allow me to presume that is not your butt in the g-string...

If it is, I'll definately print the post...

Posted by: The Maximum Leader on Oct. 27, 2004

So, does the term "f- me pumps" refer to any one particular subset of pumps as shown above, or does it refer generally to any and all pump variants?

Posted by: Matt on Oct. 27, 2004

Ignorance is the only reason that I can think of for your basic pump not ranking higher in this survey. BTW, as you know, this is NOT a poll.

Posted by: Casca on Oct. 27, 2004

wow. thanks for this. it's amazing how much you think you know about shoes until something like this comes along. i had never even heard of a d'Orsay pump.

Posted by: Jessica on Oct. 28, 2004

Oh, this was fun!

I've always *hated* heels in shoes, except when wearing boots, but this reminded me of the "girly" pleasures in life....

Alas, I can no longer wear heels of any sort due to metal in my ankle, and therefore cannot wear short, chic skirts above the knee (that's OK - I like longer skirts or classy slacks anyway...)

Thanks for the reminder that fashion can be fun!

Posted by: Romeocat on Oct. 28, 2004

In my own metrosexual way, I've always thought I knew my way around women's feet and what they put on them. I learned a lot. Thanks.

And I have no idea where g-string comes from either, even after researching on the web for a pleasant quarter of an hour.

Posted by: Hugo on Oct. 29, 2004

Ho Ho! Hugo. You scamp!

Posted by: annika! on Oct. 29, 2004

Hugo,

I found some references concluding that the term descended from an Indian (if you prefer, "Native American") term for a type of loincloth. See here, here, here, and here.

Posted by: Matt on Oct. 29, 2004