...it's not dark yet, but it's gettin' there...
Every time the Post Office raises the price of stamps, I trot out an old joke I heard years ago.
[I say] Did you hear the post office just raised the price of stamps again?ba-dum-pump. I'll be here the rest of the week.[You say] They did?
[I say] Yah, they needed the money to buy more "next window please" signs.
[an Annika's Journal list]
Things I won't miss:
The "big stink" yesterday in New York reminds me of a go-around I had with a snotty PG&E representative a few years ago. I had just moved into a new apartment.
Me: "Yes, I'm calling to report a gas leak."
PG&E rep: "How do you know there's a gas leak?"
Me: "I can smell it."
PG&E rep: "Okay, what do you smell?"
Me: "Gas."
PG&E rep: "Describe the smell for me."
Me: "It smells like gas. Are you going to send someone out or not?"
PG&E rep: "I need to first verify if there's a problem."
Me: "There is. I have a gas leak."
PG&E rep: "Does it smell like rotten eggs?"
Me: "I... I've never smelled rotten eggs. I don't know. It smells like gas."
PG&E rep: "Natural gas is odorless."
Me: "But I've smelled gas before and this is what it smells like."
PG&E rep: "You can't smell natural gas. It's odorless."
Me: "But I smell gas."
PG&E rep: "For safety reasons, we put a chemical in the gas in order to make it detectable."
Me: "Alright, then I smell the chemical you put in the gas in order to make it detectable."
PG&E rep: "Okay, does it smell like rotten eggs?"
Me: "Look, I have no idea what a rotten egg smells like. I don't know what kind of home you grew up in, but in my family we didn't keep a lot of rotten eggs around the house."
PG&E rep: "I'm sorry ma'am, but we get a lot of false alarms and I can't send anyone over to your house unless I can verify whether there's a gas leak."
Me: "Well, how else would I know I have a gas leak other than by smelling gas? What is it about 'I smell gas' that you don't understand..."
This went on for a few minutes longer and finally the a-hole relented and sent a repairman out. Turns out that the guy next door had died and his stove was leaking gas like crazy. In all honesty, I might have been smelling gas odor mixed with dead guy. But I suppose if I had said that, my call would have been transferred to the coroner's office instead.
So I'm thinking about getting a new sled. Assuming I graduate and pass the bar, etc. Annikamobile 4.0's transmission is making funky noises, so I think it's time.
I like that new Acura TL. It's modest yet stylish, and the radio is pimp! But I don't like the idea of paying for 91 octane all the time, which is recommended according to the brochure. Does anyone know if that's for real? Would I really fuck it up if I used regular unleaded instead?
My brother says it has to do with the high compression ratio, but don't the Accords also have a high compression ratio? Accords take regular unleaded, but they don't have the 5.1 surround sound radio.
My brother says if I'm willing to spend $30,000 on a new car, I should just put 91 octane in it. But that seems like such a waste, like paying for valet parking when you can just self park.
Here is the video of the Danish protest rally, which I mentioned in my July 21st post from Copenhagen. Sorry it's only seven seconds long, my CF disk was getting full, but you get the gist of it.
The yellow flag is none other than the flag of Hezbollah, an organization that has killed countless innocent Israelis, a good number of innocent Americans, and wouldn't lose sleep if it killed a few Danes either.
In the foreground you see the edge of a black banner. I forgot what it said, probably something about the Jews. Anyway, I was about to turn around and go into the internet cafe, when the teenager who was holding one end of the banner saw me and asked if I wanted to hold it for a while. I said nej, of course.
Interestingly, among the 100 or so people there, the dude on stage was the only one who appeared muslim. The rest were typical eurotrash hippies, either real young or old Deadhead types.
We generally avoided any political discussions in our interactions with the Danes and Swedes during our trip, and the Scandinavians we met were stereotypically polite so the "war" subject never came up. The only anti-American thing I saw during the ten days was that someone had smashed the front window of the American food store on Gamla Stan in Stockholm. The damage was taped up, and the store remained open.
My aunt and uncle, being Jutlanders, are pro-Danish and therefore pro-DANCON (i.e. Iraq.)
I got back on Friday, but I haven't posted since then due to a combination of jet lag, catching up with family, saying goodbye to Chris, and spending hours on the phone with Indian tech support because Verizon sucks. But I'm back and I'm afraid I've forgotten how to blog.
Many thanks to Victor for doing such a wonderful job holding down the fort! Have a great vacation dude!
I took a bunch of pictures but most of them turned out boring. I'll post some more later. For now, here's a couple I thought turned out nice.
That's a picture from Copenhagen, taken near the Kastellet army barracks. You can see how nice the weather was.
We met these two ladies on our way to my aunt and uncle's farm on Jutland.
And we watched a potter make stuff like this by hand at the Skansen theme park in Stockholm.
I was in the middle of a long post about Sweden, and after saying something critical, got booted off the machine. And they say Scandinavia is a free society.
So I'll make this short. The internet in our hotel is free but there's like a zillion kids around here and they all want on, so I got to get off.
The funniest thing about Sweden is the opportunity to make up new names for the indecipherable Swedish names.
For instance, many streets are named for simians. There's Smart Orangutan, Western Orangutan, and Stork Orangutan. There's a bank called Foreskin Ring Bank. There's a palace called Cunnilingus Slot. Hahaha! It's right next to Storky Can!
The differences between Denmark and its old rival Sweden were unexpected. Danes are better looking, more homogenous, friendlier and blonder. Sweden has better food, more fat people, more diversity, and much more spectacular architecture.
Swedes are so proud of the fact that they were once a great power. I don't get it. The key word is "once." Sure they had a few great years back in the 1600s, but come on. Get over yourselves, guys. What have you done lately? Okay, IKEA, besides that.
I also noticed that Danish chicks all have perfect skin. I'm totally jealous. Also perfect feet. Not a callous or bunyan in the whole country. My theory is that they must wear thick and comfy socks all winter, while we in the rest of the world jam our feet into tight but fashionable shoes.
While chicks wear flip-flops almost exclusively in Copenhagen, in Stockholm the most common shoe is the mesh front slipper that I hate. In the working class city of Ã…rhus, on Jutland, it's a about half and half.
Two things are noticeably absent from both countries. No homeless people and no Starbucks. Not a single one. So they got that going for them. I realize this might explain the way that Scandinavians can afford their heavy taxation. If you consider all the money I needlessly hand over to Starbucks and homeless people on a regular basis, I could probably just send that money to the government. There's how we can fund the safety net!
It's been unseasonably warm here, although not as hot as in SoCal, from what I hear. It's been low 80s all trip long, although it drizzled one morning when we were in Copenhagen. I'm glad I didn't bring the leather jacket.
We've been eating like pigs since we got to Stockholm. We're going to fly out tomorrow, and as soon as we get back it will be time for a strict diet. Chris says it's not as bad as I think, since we've been burning so many calories walking, but the danger is the temptation to go on eating at the same rate after we return.
Well, that's it for now. We're taking it easy today and doing some shopping. Chris and I had a late night at some Irish pub in Old Town, watching Celtic get beat by Man U.
Hello everybody. As I write this, I'm sitting in an internet cafe on Vesterbrogade in the great city of København. Hey, there's a key for "ø" here! Victor, you might be interested to know that there's a protest going on right outside this place at this very moment. Bunch of dirty white dudes chanting along with an Immam. The same old shit you're seeing over there, I'm sure. The crowd is about 100, I'd guess. Che t-shirts are well represented. Now they're shouting "death to Israel" in arabic. Yes, it's one of the few arabic phrases I recognize. There's also a flag of Hezbollah, and an American flag with skulls instead of stars. Ho-hum.
Anyways, not much to say. Købanhavn is not really that interesting, as my parents warned me. It's hot and sticky, about 80 degrees, although it rained today which was nice. The sun goes down at 10 and gets up at 4. The food is well prepared and tasty, but give me Iberian or Italian food anytime. I still haven't found a good danish.
Yesterday we saw many museums, including the Danish History, The Danish Art, and the Museum of Danish Resistance, which was the best of the three. We saw the Little Mermaid, which I guess is some kind of must see. I'll post pictures when I get back, if my internet is up by then.
Oh the flight over was at least 24 hours long. We thought we'd get DVT for sure. Who knew there'd be a massive lightning storm on the East Coast, which royally fucked up our travel route?
One vignette before I sign off. We went to Louisiana today, which is totally worth the trip. No lie, it may be the best modern art museum I've ever been to. They do modern art right. There's an excellent video art installation, and the Paol K... (can't remember his last name but Strawman digs him) design exhibit was fantastic. And the grounds were gorgeous.
There's a bluff overlooking the Øresund, and you can see Sweden in the distance. And there's also a garden (have) with lots of maze-like trails and a long slide and little wooden forts with tunnels and shit all along the hillside. And a running stream. I thought it was strange that there were no Danish kids running around in that park. If me and my brother had gone there when we were little, we would have tore that place up! We'd have gotten so muddy, they'd never have let us back into the museum. Any American kid would. As it was, me and Chris had a great time playing around that garden like a couple of little kids!
Oh there were plenty of Danish kids at the museum, but they were all inside a white room at a white table drawing pictures of furniture under the tutelage of a stern Danish babysitter. How sad! In microcosm, I guess that says something about the difference between America and Denmark. They'll keep making great furniture, while we'll keep pushing the envelope and bustin' things up, but having fun at the same time.
Well, tomorrow we're off to Jutland to stay for a couple of days with my aunt and uncle. Then we go to Sweden. Hopefully I can check in with you again.
i'm taking a short mid-summer vacation with my family, into the land of all-you-can-eat buffets. i'll be back Tuesday night!
As predicted and long feared, a spider bit annika on the ass.
. . .
Meanwhile, in Florida, it's windy.
Developing...
This weekend i went hiking in the Sierras. The weather was great and we were in a park that i had not ever been to before. i also saw a spectacular bird up close, but i wasn't quick enough with the camera and she flew away. The bird was Cyanocitta stelleri, commonly known as Stellar's Jay.
Living in urban environments, as i have for the last bunch of years, i don't get the chance to see that many non-boring birds. But up here in the Sacramento area, you really can't avoid seeing some really cool looking birds. In the last year i've seen wild turkeys, snowy egrets, yellow billed magpies and a great blue heron (which is always an awesome sight).
i have a strange ambition. Someday i would like to see in the wild the following birds: a tufted puffin, a magnificent frigate bird, a penguin, and a California condor. Condors are extremely rare, but shouldn't be hard to find. They only live in the L.A. area. If i ever get to see the other birds it will mean i have travelled to Newfoundland, the southern tip of South America and Baja California, three places i've never been.
Our peach tree is in bloom. It's beautiful. i thought it was dead. Shows how much i know about trees.
Today is the two year blogversary of annika's journal. A Yahoo! Poker party celebration will be held tonight at 7:00 p.m. California time. Stop by if you can. Just say hi, or sit down and play a few hands. i will post the name of the room just before it starts. BYOB.
Today is also poetry day. Who's your favorite poet? i haven't picked a poem yet, so why not suggest someone?
Have you pushed Elton John for UN Sec Gen to your friends and co-workers yet? People are talking.
And there are still two more spots open in MLBloggers, my fantasy baseball league. Email me if you're interested.
i got the details on bat risk. It's not dangerous to touch a dead bat, but you shouldn't do it. If you see a bat in the daytime, and it's crawling on the ground, something's wrong. It probably has rabies so don't mess with it, it may bite you and then you're in trouble. You can get rabies if bat saliva gets in your eyes, nose, mouth or a wound. In other words, don't make out with the bat.
The source for this info is here, in case you're interested. i also learned that many young bats are unable to fly during summer. So it's possible that i simply saw a lost, but undiseased, young bat.
Here's the proper way to capture a bat:
What you will need:Not that anyone would ever need to know that, but hey, it never hurts to be prepared. Might as well assemble your bat capture kit this weekend and keep it handy, just in case.When the bat lands, approach it slowly, while wearing the gloves, and place the box or coffee can over it. Slide the cardboard under the container to trap the bat inside. Tape the cardboard to the container securely, and punch small holes in the cardboard, allowing the bat to breathe. Contact your health department or animal-control authority to make arrangements for rabies testing.
- leatherwork gloves (put them on)
- small box or coffee can
- piece of cardboard
- tape
If you see a bat in your home and you are sure no human or pet exposure has occurred, confine the bat to a room by closing all doors and windows leading out of the room except those to the outside. The bat will probably leave soon. If not, it can be caught, as described and released outdoors away from people and pets.
i just saw the weirdest thing. A bat. It was right outside the building crawling along the sidewalk on all fours, right where i saw that huge dragonfly a few weeks ago. The bat was gray, about three inches long, and moving very slowly, about the speed of a large beetle. i didn't know what it was at first and i jumped and let out a loud scream, 'cause it was right by my foot when i first saw it. Poor thing was lost, it should have been hanging upside down in a cave somewhere. i thought about picking it up and bringing it into the office to show everybody. Then i thought about rabies and left it alone. Some car is probably going to run over it, over but there's nothing i can do about that. It's getting to be like a menagerie outside my building. i really should bring a digital camera with me when i take my smoke breaks.
During lunch today, i took a walk over to the Capitol Building and signed this book.
This evening dined with Mr. Jason, and my lady Betty, and her gentleman, which occasioned our thinking and remarking upon the happy life that we live now, having we nothing to care for but ourselves. Mr. Jason treated me most nobly, procuring a great platter of ribbonned dough seasoned in the Sicilian manner, and many flagons of ale and a bottle of wine, which was of very great flavour.
All our discourse and others are of his excellency's election, and we begin to speak of it very freely, and of Mr. Dean's outcry and of Mr. Kerry, who does wish to renounce the parliament and reside at his excellency's manse, supplanting his excellency thereby. Strange how these people do now promise anything: to each pauper a station, to each guild a full purse of coin, to each gentleman wisened with years a vessel of chemist's physic. I pray God to keep me from being too much lifted up thereby.
After that we went forth onto the high street and looked to buy a pair of tanned boots of sorrel hue and belt and hose, and finding none, after that Mr. Jason and the other gentleman led us to Brittania Tavern in Saint Monica's Lane, where Mr. H— and Mr. S— were, and we drank a great deal more of ale, and malted whiskey, and outside smoked the tobacco weed, and they paid all.
From thence to the Yankee Doodle tavern, where standing at the door Miss D— comes by, with her gentleman, and the two of them appearing very fond and loving to the other, and filled with drink. It pleasing us to admit them into our companie, we entered the tavern thusly and much merry making and reverie did come to pass, whilst betimes our gentlemen made to wager after the carom of the billiard.
After that took leave of our friends, who each of them was very sorry to part with us and such, and returned by my lady's carriage to Brent's Wood, and disembarking at the mews, retired by a lift conveyance to our dwelling flat, wherein we sat and talked, and beheld the television device before repairing to our respective chambers.
While in the midst of my ablutions and preparation for the bedchamber, did rang out from the telephone apparatus the announcement of my gentleman's very presence at the vestibule of our dwelling abode, though he bade us farewell but three quarters of the hour past. Still sleepy with drink and attired for the night, yet i took the gentleman into my chambers upstairs, and there did we dally a great while, drinking a mild beverage and talking till the gentleman began to be most loving to me and kind, whereupon was sustained the Latin nulla puella negat, but happily.
i promised you news of my doings during my recent trip to Detroit. We didn't work on Martin Luther King Jr. Day, so our hosts gave us tickets to the North American International Auto Show at the Cobo Center. Always thinking of you, my visitors, i took some photographs of the cars that really impressed me.
Outside it was freezing cold. i'm not used to it. i'm a Californian, my nordic blood notwithstanding. Snow is something that belongs in the mountains. You ski on it. You don't drive on it. 50° is about as cold as i want it to be outside. Not fucking 20°!
There were five of us. Paul and i were the two senior paralegals, Linda and Grace the two associates, and Patricia the temp paralegal. The other temp, Kathy, stayed in the hotel room nursing the flu, which she eventually passed on to the rest of us.
The convention center was a sea of people. On the day we were there, the attendance was 41,415! And at any given time, at least one of the five of us was lost. Someone was always lagging behind, gawking at a vehicle, or in Paul's case, gawking at a spokesmodel. We used up a lot of cellphone minutes just trying to keep track of each other. Here's a view of the bedlam that greeted us inside the Cobo center.
One of the first cars that caught our eye was this Lincoln convertible concept car. Everything is going retro these days, but i think Ford did a real nice job on this baby. A little stodgy for my taste, but cool nonetheless. One thing i really liked was the pale cream colored leather interior. It was almost bluish; i've never seen a color like it. The official pictures are here.
No one does retro like Jaguar, though.
The Pontiac Solstice will be available next year, so i was told. It looks great, but i remember how shitty the Fiero was. Hopefully Pontiac has learned their lesson.
About lunchtime we all went out to the concession stands and paid through the nose for some hot dogs and sodas, which they called "pop." There was some sort of rock band playing music in the arena and we hung out there while we ate. Unfortunately, being the only smoker in the group i had to duck outside and freeze my ass to keep my nicotine levels up. Paul was nice enough to accompany me and chase away any homeless dudes, while i smoked.
We all kidded Linda about getting a new car. She makes a shitload of money, but she's still driving the same car she had in law school. A beat up Corolla from the eighties! She doesn't want to get rid of it because it's paid for and it still runs great. But we made it our mission to select Linda's next car and then apply relentless pressure on her until she buys it. My pick was this thing:
Too bad it's only a concept car and not on the market yet. It's called the Subaru B9SC Roadster, it's a hybrid and it is phat! Official pics are here. The windshield is made of special glass that changes the tint like some sunglasses do. Confidentially, i think Linda needs to upgrade her image to something sportier. Maybe this car will be available for sale by the time her Toyota finally craps out on her.
Paul noted that Linda's style is, shall we say, simple, tasteful, conservative . . . maybe somewhat dowdy. i don't think she considered that a compliment. At any rate, Paul encouraged her to stay with what made her comfortable. His choice for Linda's next vehicle was the Chrysler 300. That didn't go over too well either. i didn't take a picture of it, but here's what it looks like. Contemporarily stodgy. A bit more mature than my friend would like to go.
i think we all agreed on Linda's future car when we saw the new BMW mini SUV. We fell in love with it. It's called the X3. i sat in it and it's wonderful. So comfy. i just love the seats in german cars.
i didn't take any pictures of the X3 because it was at that moment that i heard music and birds singing and a heavenly light shone down and i became dizzy with feelings of intense desire. i saw this vehicle:
Oh yes, my darlings. BMW has revived the 6 series. In convertible. i stood there slack jawed and repeated to myself, "yes . . . yes . . . yes . . . 645ci, you are mine, baby!" Sure i'll never be able to afford it without marrying rich. But lemme dream, okay? i would look so damn good driving along Sunset in that bitch with the top down at a ridiculously high rate of speed. i get all weak and tingly just thinking about it. Gaze at these official pics, if you will. It's simply gorgeous.
After they dragged me away from my new love, we all went back to the hotel to rest and get ready for the evening. We met up with some of the in-house people for our client, who drove us down to a place called Dave & Buster's, which is apparently a chain, although it was the first i'd heard of them. They make a very good desert with bananas and caramel sauce.
The place is like an adult video arcade. Paul was in heaven. i tried a few of the shooting games, but i really liked the airplane simulator, even though i kept crashing. We had fun even though we couldn't get rip-roaring drunk like we wanted. We tried to keep up appearances since we were with the client's employees and we had to work early the next day.
And that was how i spent my MLK day.
