...it's not dark yet, but it's gettin' there...

September 27, 2006

Celebrity Sex Videos Nobody Wants To See

Radical Redneck alerted me to the following bit of celebrity gossip:

He may have played nerdy eighth-grader Samuel (Screech) Powers in the sitcom "Saved by the Bell." But former TV geek Dustin Diamond can now take his place with Colin Farrell, Tommy Lee and Kid Rock as the star of his very own sex tape.

Everyone who remembers Diamond as a lovable putz is in for a shock once they see a 40-minute video in which he engages in a kinky three-way with two women, sources tell us.

We can't get too graphic here, but word is that the action includes some bodily functions and an act known as a "Dirty Sanchez."

I looked up "Dirty Sanchez" in the Rolodex of Love [nsfw]. Then I wished I hadn't.
Dirty Sanchez: A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggie style, you insert your finger into her asshole. You then pull it out and wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin shit mustache. This makes her look like someone whose name is Dirty Sanchez.

Anyways, there's nothing that might induce me to want to watch Screech and two chicks fucking on video. In fact, John McCain might want to add that to his list of prohibited torture methods, just in case anybody at the CIA gets creative.

So I got to thinking. Who else might make the list of Celebrity Sex Videos Nobody Wants To See?

Free polls from Pollhost.com
I would be most likely to want to gouge my own eyes out after watching a celebrity sex video starring:
Barbra Streisand Little Richard Roseanne Barr Andy Dick Whoopi Goldberg Don Imus Joan Rivers Al Franken Kathy Lee Gifford Jesse Jackson other   

Posted by annika, Sep. 27, 2006 | TrackBack (0)
Rubric: Celebrity Watch & Sex Please


There is a whole scene in "The 40-Year Old Virgin" devoted to obscure titles associated to (what some may consider deviant)sexual practices. It's fucking hilarious. The "Dirty Sanchez" is, of course, included.

It's worth renting the movie just to see the "extra features" portion of the DVD.

Posted by: blu on Sep. 27, 2006

Its gotta be Al Franken

Posted by: Scof on Sep. 27, 2006

ya know, Kathy Lee Gifford might be an all star get crazy chick. Sometimes, those girls who are Southern nicey-nice on the outside...

Posted by: gcotharn on Sep. 27, 2006

Donkey punch!

(Watching a little too much Retarded Animal Babies...)


Posted by: Kevin Kim on Sep. 27, 2006

What's with all this shit play? Don't people know that's how hepatitis is spread? Don't play with peoples shit.

Posted by: Casca on Sep. 27, 2006

The version of Dirty Sanchez I've heard of doesn't involve a finger...

That said, I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

Posted by: The Law Fairy on Sep. 28, 2006

I just realized you left out Rosie O'Donnell.

Posted by: Victor on Sep. 29, 2006

Diamond has been trying for a new image every since he appeared on that Celebrity Boxing show and beat up Horshack. Other people whose careers could be resurrected by a sex tape include the guy who played Webster, and the guy who played Urkel. And maybe Lily Tomlin - or perhaps not.

Posted by: Ontario Emperor on Sep. 29, 2006

How about a threesome of Mike Moore, Rosie Barr and Helen Thomas? With plenty of salad tossing!

Posted by: Radical Redneck on Oct. 2, 2006