...it's not dark yet, but it's gettin' there...

July 27, 2006

I'm Still Here

I was in the middle of a long post about Sweden, and after saying something critical, got booted off the machine. And they say Scandinavia is a free society.

So I'll make this short. The internet in our hotel is free but there's like a zillion kids around here and they all want on, so I got to get off.

The funniest thing about Sweden is the opportunity to make up new names for the indecipherable Swedish names.

For instance, many streets are named for simians. There's Smart Orangutan, Western Orangutan, and Stork Orangutan. There's a bank called Foreskin Ring Bank. There's a palace called Cunnilingus Slot. Hahaha! It's right next to Storky Can!

The differences between Denmark and its old rival Sweden were unexpected. Danes are better looking, more homogenous, friendlier and blonder. Sweden has better food, more fat people, more diversity, and much more spectacular architecture.

Swedes are so proud of the fact that they were once a great power. I don't get it. The key word is "once." Sure they had a few great years back in the 1600s, but come on. Get over yourselves, guys. What have you done lately? Okay, IKEA, besides that.

I also noticed that Danish chicks all have perfect skin. I'm totally jealous. Also perfect feet. Not a callous or bunyan in the whole country. My theory is that they must wear thick and comfy socks all winter, while we in the rest of the world jam our feet into tight but fashionable shoes.

While chicks wear flip-flops almost exclusively in Copenhagen, in Stockholm the most common shoe is the mesh front slipper that I hate. In the working class city of Ã…rhus, on Jutland, it's a about half and half.

Two things are noticeably absent from both countries. No homeless people and no Starbucks. Not a single one. So they got that going for them. I realize this might explain the way that Scandinavians can afford their heavy taxation. If you consider all the money I needlessly hand over to Starbucks and homeless people on a regular basis, I could probably just send that money to the government. There's how we can fund the safety net!

It's been unseasonably warm here, although not as hot as in SoCal, from what I hear. It's been low 80s all trip long, although it drizzled one morning when we were in Copenhagen. I'm glad I didn't bring the leather jacket.

We've been eating like pigs since we got to Stockholm. We're going to fly out tomorrow, and as soon as we get back it will be time for a strict diet. Chris says it's not as bad as I think, since we've been burning so many calories walking, but the danger is the temptation to go on eating at the same rate after we return.

Well, that's it for now. We're taking it easy today and doing some shopping. Chris and I had a late night at some Irish pub in Old Town, watching Celtic get beat by Man U.

Posted by annika, Jul. 27, 2006 | TrackBack (0)
Rubric: annik-dotes


Tolja Sweden sucked as much as Denmark.

Come home; we won't kick you off the net.

Posted by: shelly on Jul. 27, 2006

Hope you managed to get off OK!

Posted by: Victor on Jul. 27, 2006

Victor's tired of the abuse and hard work.

I hope your flight home is comfortable, because Sacratomato is broiling. You can fry eggs on the sidewalk and no one in their right mind would be there unless they had to be.

Posted by: shelly on Jul. 27, 2006

Guess again, Shelly. I work in the IT department of a gigantic law firm; I can take abuse and I always work hard.

Posted by: Victor on Jul. 27, 2006

Maybe we should open a Starbucks/homeless shelter there. It might have potential - LOL!

Posted by: Greta (Hooah Wife) on Jul. 27, 2006

Oooooooooooo, GRETTTAAA, the hoohaa wife! I like a gal with a hoohaa.

Posted by: Casca on Jul. 27, 2006

Either the Swedes are too smart to pay $3.50 for a cup of coffee or too poor.

Posted by: Jake on Jul. 27, 2006

Well, know we know that Starbucks is the cuase of homelessness, I know those liberals were up to no good.

Posted by: kyle8 on Jul. 27, 2006

Any lawyer who abuses his IT people ought to have his head examined.

Of all the people that can screw you and your career at a law firm, they are right at the tip top.

It is truly more stupid than abusing waiters, who just spit (or worse) in your food.

Posted by: shelly on Jul. 28, 2006