...it's not dark yet, but it's gettin' there...

March 14, 2005

American Skankwoman Update

It's been a while since i've caught up with Brittany. Despite her vow to lay low, she's been on a something of a comic rampage lately:

  • At times i almost think Brittany's being ironic with us. But then i remember that irony probably requires having an IQ, which is one accessory she's never owned.

    For instance, she recently promised:

    In the future, I will refrain from discussing my private life in interviews. It will be expressed solely through art.
    Art? Art?!

    She's taken up painting, i guess. Cuz she can't be talking about what she does for a living.

  • And remember when Brittany stunk up that airplane? Apparently, she and Kevin have a lot in common:
    Federline's ex-girlfriend, Amy Woody, accusing Federline of . . . being hygienically impaired.

    Not only is he not a daily bather, he apparently would go for days without a scrub.

    Eeeew. The American Skankman!

  • Brittany had some advice for Michael Jackson:
    He needs someone to be like, 'ok, let's buck you up, let's give you a moustache, let's rough you up, let's go to a bar, let's get drunk and be a man.' . . . he needs to get in a fight.
    Interesting idea. Although i bet if somebody punched him in the nose, they'd get a nasty splinter.

    • bitbitnbrit.jpg

  • Last Monday, Brittany and Kevin got kicked out of a Beverly Hills restaurant when she tried to eat there with her little rat, Bit Bit.
    But the manager chased after the couple and said they could stay if the pup was tucked inside her bag.

    Britney and dancer Kevin returned with Bit Bit in her pink holdall, emblazoned with the word BITCHY.

    Notice the flip flops. She tries so hard to be skanky casual, with the ripped up shorts and the stupid trucker hats, like she don't care how she looks. But to the observant eye, Brittany's trendy $17 Havaianas betray the fact that she's just a fad follower. Here's further proof: check out the new extensions.

    If she's trying to disguise herself, it might help if she left her rat at home. And the dog, too.


Update: Dawn alerts us to an idiotic Brittany quote that i overlooked. And a double-hearsay hat tip to Rick, too.

Posted by annika, Mar. 14, 2005 |
Rubric: American Skankwomen



Comments

skank

Posted by: Scof on Mar. 15, 2005

You forgot to mention carrying around a chihuahua every-fucking-where you go is the height of "trendy." And please stop comparing those little hairless tribbles to rats, please!

Posted by: Victor and his fifteen pet rats on Mar. 15, 2005

Ha-ha Victor. 15 now?

Posted by: annika on Mar. 15, 2005

When your career flourishes based solely on enticements for underage sex, ("Hit me baby" video) you can't really do too much more from there.

Tries so hard to be casual?? Annika, she's a redneck! She's following the time-honored Elvis Presley tradition of rednecks who, upon becoming rich, put a uniquely trailer-esque spin on fashion and celebrity.

Elvis gets a pass on Graceland because of his talent.


Posted by: Jason O. on Mar. 15, 2005

Redneck? Here's a redneck woman who's got more class in her pinky, etc.

Posted by: annika on Mar. 15, 2005

Shutup. You'd do her too.

Posted by: Collins on Mar. 15, 2005

Two words: hotel oscar. I guess you can take the girl outta the trailer park, but you can't take the trailer park outta the girl.

And Collins, she's getting so I wouldn't do her. If she doesn't lay off the pork rinds and Krispy Kremes soon she's going to end up like that other trailer trash icon of pop culture, Roseanne Barr.

Posted by: Matt on Mar. 16, 2005

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Gretchen Wilson...

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm redneck chicks...

Posted by: Radical Redneck on Mar. 16, 2005

I remember this came up before, but Britney's not a redneck: she's white trash. It's possible to be both, but they're not the same thing. Certainly in her native Louisiana, the former can be a badge of pride, but the latter is (rightly) an insult.

Posted by: Dave J on Mar. 18, 2005