...it's not dark yet, but it's gettin' there...
Here's something a little lighter, for this week. Plus it'll fit within two of my rubrics.
A quick google search revealed that Brittany Spears, besides being a fascinating singer/actress/entertainer/essayist/dancer/amateur physicist/skank, is also a poet. Brittany apparently contacted the proprietors of Tastes Like Chicken, and they agreed to publish some of her very own poetry. Here's a sample:
MOMMY, CAN YOU READ ME A BOOK?Mommy, will you please read me this book?
It made no sense to me when I gave it a look
It's confusing and weird and it is very scary
I can't make out what it is saying to me... ah, Barry
Oh. I was trying to read a book of stamps.
Never mind.
Go here to read some even better poems by Brittany.
There once was a hosehead named Spears,
Who studied Seuss, Rod McKuen, & King Lear,
Her quarter hour done
Before it'd even begun,
Now she opens for Carrot Top at Frontiers
Opening for Carrot-Top, one couldn't get any lower than that. Unless one opened for Pauly Shore, i guess.
Posted by: annika on Jan. 12, 2005Many, many years ago, I flipped thru a book of gawd-awful poetry in a book store: Touch Me by Suzanne Somers. It's like comparing crap to shit, but I'd have to say Brittney's are a bit bitter. But 20+ years of trauma might have something to do with that.
Posted by: Victor and his seventeen pet rats on Jan. 13, 2005A coquettish young harlot named Spears
wrote out her dreams and her fears
though it isn't quite verse,
what is clearly far worse
is that the memory will linger for years....
She fancied herself a new Bard;
I say, it is not in the cards!
The young skank called Brit
Has curiously changing tits,
And viagra won't get her husband hard!
Here’s a really weird site that you’ll want to link to your website: www.captainozone.com
This site features a video documentary about Captain Ozone, who traveled backwards in time on a toilet from the year 2039. He has a futuristic tattoo on his arm that visually changes when he drinks Stoli’s vodka.
Captain Ozone is also renowned for being the most radical environmental activist in America. In this video documentary, watch as Captain Ozone:
• recycles used toilets into fine works of art (see The Toilet Museum http://toiletmuseum.com/news.html)
• demonstrates hemp oil as an alternative lubricant to petroleum
• touts the benefits of pollution-free hydrogen fuel
• teaches school kids how to promote ecological awareness on television
• crusades for the conservation of endangered salmon
• stars in a music video about industrial pollution
There is also an intriguing interview with Captain Ozone at www.captainozone.com
Thank you,
Michael Schutte
Exc. Director
Environmental Media Northwest