Carson And Lileks

One night last month during the holidays, while i visited my mom and dad, we all watched The Tonight Show. As he often does, my dad started comparing Leno to Johnny Carson.

“Boy, I sure miss Carson,” he said.

“Me too,” mom added. “He was the best. Jay Leno just doesn’t compare.”

Dad turned to me. “Sissy, you’re too young to remember Carson, but there was a time when people used to stay up every night just to watch his monologue,” he said.

“i do so remember Carson.”

Mom rolled her eyes. “No she doesn’t.”

“Yah mom, i do,” i retorted. “He had white hair. He wasn’t very funny. i like Leno better.”

Dad was appalled. “Wasn’t funny? C’mon! Let me tell you something little girl, Carson was great even when he wasn’t funny.”

“Yes. Everybody knew his monologues weren’t funny. It didn’t matter. We just loved to watch him,” mom said. “He was like a good friend.”

i had no idea my parents felt so strongly about the old man.

Mom continued. “I remember during the writers’ strike when Johnny had to write his own jokes. He was very funny then.”

“Oh yes, he was,” dad nodded. “Very funny.”

“But let me tell you,” my dad leaned forward, a serious look flashing across his face, “there were three times when Carson was so good that you made sure you stayed up to watch him.”

“When was that?” i asked.

“Whenever Don Rickles, Buddy Hackett or Pete Fountain were guests.”

“Pete Fountain?” i laughed.

“Yes, you know Pete Fountain. Played clarinet. Died a few years ago.”

“You and your Pete Fountain, dear,” mom chuckled.

i grew up listening to Pete Fountain records. My dad worshipped the guy.

“Of course,” dad said. “Rickles, Hackett and Pete Fountain. You didn’t miss Carson when any of those guys were on.” My dad’s face became wistful. “You know, you can’t say that about any talk show these days. There’s nobody today that compares. Nobody that makes you say, ‘hey I gotta stay up and watch tonight.’”

i tried to think of a guest who might compel me to watch Leno, or Letterman, in the way my dad used to stay up to watch Carson and Rickles, et al., but i drew a blank.

Until today, when Lileks guest hosted on Hewitt’s show.

Maybe it’s not the same thing, ‘cause it’s radio, but lemme tell you, when i hear that Lileks is going to be on the Hugh Hewitt show, i make darn sure i tune in that day. Lileks is as awesome on the radio as he is in print. When Lileks was cracking on "nude Hugh" with his bald head and hairy back running from the police, i was dying. That was funny stuff. He may not play the clarinet, but i'd stack James Lileks up against Buddy Hackett any day.

Update: Brad at Infinite Monkeys writes about his call in to the show, which i heard.