...it's not dark yet, but it's gettin' there...

June 21, 2005

Saddam Loves Doritos?

Mass murdering dictators can have good taste in snack items.

Who knew?

Unfortunately, any sympathy he might have gotten from me by sharing my favorite junk food obsession, he relinquished by calling Dan Rather "a good guy."

But also, Saddam apparently likes to relax in prison by writing poetry among other things. i'm terribly curious to read his poetry, but i imagine it will be a long time before i see any of it published.

So in the interim, i've written a haiku that, while it was not written by the Butcher of Baghdad, i could imagine him having written something very similar during a reflective moment behind bars.

homburg on my head
twelve gauge at my hip goes POW!
good times, bro, good times...

Feel free to leave your own "haiku that Saddam might have penned" in the comments.

Posted by annika, Jun. 21, 2005 |
Rubric: The Huh? Files


Shit, EVERYONE loves pressed corn, baked, sprayed with vegtable oil, and douched in seasoning.

Posted by: Casca on Jun. 20, 2005

All it takes is a couple, and then whatever that addictive substance that they add to them begins to kick in and you can't stop 'til you've eaten the whole got-dam bag. Then you lie there the rest of the day with a horrid case of the Dorito-blahs.

Or whatever.

Posted by: Desert Cat on Jun. 20, 2005

Annika, you are just like my high school English teacher. You better like poetry or you get wacked with a ruler. So here is my haiku so you won't hit me:

Shredders, gang rape and mass graves
Think of it all
In the crumbs of Doritos

Posted by: Jake on Jun. 21, 2005

When my life is filmed,
I want to be portrayed by
Joe Don Baker. Yeah.

Posted by: Victor on Jun. 21, 2005

with me it was united
for a brief moment

Posted by: Roach on Jun. 21, 2005

As I watch you die
I munch a tasty corn treat
Mmmmmmm life is so fine

Posted by: Pursuit on Jun. 21, 2005

Kids. You do your best
They grow up so mean, so fast
Misunderstood pranks

Posted by: Ted on Jun. 21, 2005

Hitler liked puppies.
Me, I like the Doritos,
Froot Loops, not so much

U.S. Media
does me a great favor,
humanizes me

Posted by: ken on Jun. 21, 2005

smart bush very bad
dumb bush very very bad
Laura Bush just right.

Posted by: gcotharn on Jun. 21, 2005

Even though the non-white Arabs dont demand much your facist 4th reich of America still tortures and deprives all the illegelly held victims in gitmo!

Posted by: Um Yeah on Jun. 21, 2005

Halliburton, uhhh, dick cheney is a poo-poo head. Uhhhh, America tortures people. Bush is the real terrorist! aaaaaah!

*head explodes*

Posted by: Um Yeah on Jun. 21, 2005

Though bars blind me now
I dream of the Euphrates
Next year flows my blood.

Posted by: Hugo on Jun. 21, 2005

Ken's is best methinks:

"U.S. Media
does me a great favor,
humanizes me"

Although line 2 contains only 6 syllables. Should have 7. Get to work!

Posted by: Mark on Jun. 22, 2005

My first stab at Saddam haiku:

"No Fruit Loops, you Jew!
How I miss my palaces.
Doritos don't help."


Posted by: Mark on Jun. 22, 2005

It makes me wonder what kind of snacks our mass murdering President likes to eat?

Remember Shock and Awe? That was 40,000 bomb an hour. I bet that beheaded many an Iraqi.

There have been over 100,000 civilian deaths, not all were done by insurgents. In fact, most were done by coalition forces, simply by accident or otherwise.

Maybe Saddam should re-sign up with the CIA and be Bush's right hand man in Iraq. He has experience with managing a country, no training necessary.

Posted by: Tony Martin on Jun. 24, 2005

i'm sorry tony. Under the Patriot Act, i am now required to report your IP address to the black helicopter squad.

Good luck in Gitmo. Bring a sweater!

Posted by: annika on Jun. 24, 2005

I wonder where Tony and his like minded friends were when Saddam Hussein was slaughtering 2 million people over 3 decades?

The 100,000 figure was based on a ridiculously small sample, and it was far from the truth.

Want the real numbers? See the two stories below.



Posted by: Mark on Jun. 24, 2005