...it's not dark yet, but it's gettin' there...

July 16, 2004

Some Advice For The Two Johns Regarding The Upcoming Debates

My advice for the two Johns (which will help them in the upcoming debates with President Bush and Vice-President Cheney) is to stick to format. They should not change their message now, it's obviously very popular among their supporters. But i would suggest that they simplify the message so that it's easier to understand. You see there's quite a few dim-bulbs out there who would vote Democrat if only the Democratic platform were shorter and easier to commit to memory.

Here's my advice:

To John Edwards: You're the attack dog. So every time Dick Cheney says something, your retort should include the word "Halliburton." It might be difficult to work that into all your debate answers, so if you get stuck simply begin yelling "HALLIBURTON! HALLIBURTON! HALLIBURTOOOOON!" You will surely get a loud cheer out of the hand picked audience of CNN approved lefty Bush-haters. And the beauty of this debate tactic, besides its simplicity, is that every wacked out lefty understands it, because they revert back to the same tactic themselves whenever confronted by that pesky foe known as "logical reasoning."

To John Kerry: Try not to speak. But if you must, follow the same strategy outlined above, except say "Vietnam" instead of "Halliburton."

Posted by annika, Jul. 16, 2004 |
Rubric: annikapunditry


Bonus points and a possible landslide victory if the sentence "Halliburton is Dick Cheney's Vietnam" is used. (Extra super duper points, if it's responsive.)

Posted by: Dawn on Jul. 16, 2004

Whenever I hear Kerry talking about Vietnam, I for some inexplicable reason can't help but remember Dana Carvey as George H.W. Bush at the outset of Desert Storm.

"This country has learned the lesson of Vietnam. Which is: do not fight in Vietnam."

Posted by: Dave J on Jul. 16, 2004