...it's not dark yet, but it's gettin' there...
Is it me, or has Michel Moore gotten fatter? The last time i saw him was at the Oscars in 2003. i don't think he looked as humongous back then. What he needs is a personal trainer. A tough one, like at one of those boot camps for fatties, maybe.
i can almost picture it now:
Holy Jesus! What is that? WHAT IS THAT?!And i'd love to see Moore trying to run laps, with the personal trainer alongside to motivate him:Sir, a jelly doughnut, sir!
A jelly doughnut?!
Sir, yes, sir!
How did it get here?
Sir, I took it from the mess hall, sir!
Is chow allowed in the barracks, Moore?
Sir, no, sir!
Are you allowed to eat jelly doughnuts, Moore?
Sir, no, sir!
And why not?
Sir, because I'm too heavy, sir!
Because you are a DISGUSTING FATBODY, Moore!
Sir, yes, sir!
Pick 'em up and set 'em down, Moore! Quickly! Move it up!Yah, boot camp might do him a lot of good, i think.Were you born a fat slimy scumbag, you piece of shit?! Or did you have to work on it?
Move it up! Quickly! Hustle up!
The fucking war will be over by the time we get up there, won't it, Moore? MOVE IT!
Are you going to fucking die, Moore? Are you going to die on me?! Do you feel dizzy? Do you feel faint? Jesus H. Christ, I think you've got a hard-on!
Heh...Lee Ermey's DI routine from Full Metal Jacket never does get old, does it?
"Did your parents have any children that lived?! I bet they regretted it!"
Posted by: Dave J on May. 18, 2004It'd kill him. Which would do all of us a lot of good. (Moore, too. He epitomizes the phrase, "a life not worth living.")
Posted by: Matt on May. 18, 2004Yup, he is fatter. Sorry, not a very interesting comment, but I wanted to reassure you. He is, in fact, much fatter.
Posted by: Courtney on May. 19, 2004That ole ticker oughta be blowin'a valve anytime now, hehehe. Just desserts, eh wot? I think I'll have a case of krispy kreme's delivered to his suite. Dammit, stop me before I pun again!
Posted by: Casca on May. 20, 2004Maybe he should update his book to "Dude, where's my waistline?"..tie some ropes on him and he'll be in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade..
Posted by: steve on May. 25, 2004buy stock newsletter
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