...it's not dark yet, but it's gettin' there...

April 05, 2006

Wednesday Is Poetry Day: Vogon Poetry

In honor of April Fool's day, lets do something different.


Ever wonder what Vogon poetry really sounds like? Check out Rosie O'Donnell's blog. Here's a particularly bad selection from yesterday:


so katie mcphee is linda ederish

yo yo dog
youuuu look sssssexyhottt grrreat job
i hate country music

does kenny rogers think
he looks better this way
alien from planet hollywood
almost didnt recognize him

i will reload the art movie
with a non i tune tune

i am 1/2 way thru
craig fergusons novel
i triple love it
confederacy of dunces
meets geek love
in a dave eggers universe
buy it

a lot of press
gma tomorrow
and i am done
going in and out
of celebville
with an ez pass

there is much i miss
everything barbra
touring again
thank god
i live in a paralell universe
1 where noone spells write
ross the intern
jays colin

colin was 10
yr one
belted ethel merman
had me at hello

he now works for
everytime i see his simle
i remember the magic

ryan seacrest just said
to simon cowell

5 am
hair and make up
i am getting too old for this

there is a scary kid
talking to larry king
about internet porn

journalism in america

the ask ro
is highly addictive

On second thought, that is much worse than Vogon poetry. Rosie must be one of the Azgoths of Kria. Where does she get her inspiration? She must have composed that piece while shitting out a particularly large chunk of constipatii, i think. Gawdawful.

Thanks to Victor, for the suggestion.

Posted by annika, Apr. 5, 2006 | TrackBack (1)
Rubric: Poetry


Why, that's almost as bad as... Jules Verne.

Posted by: Hugo on Apr. 5, 2006

A celebrity of whom no one cares
is writing 'poetry' about
what she thinks when sitting
on her ass
watching American Idol

If she calls it poetry
then I am fucking Emily Dickinson
I am more amused
with the fact that
Simon Cowell told Ryan Seacrest
"lose the beard."

Gawd I hate Rosie.

Posted by: Amy Bo Bamy on Apr. 5, 2006

"Gawd I hate Rosie"
A phrase so oft repeated
It's become cliché

Posted by: annika on Apr. 5, 2006

I have to agree with you; it sounds like the result of a bottle of laxative after eating a book of haiku...

Posted by: BobG on Apr. 5, 2006

I think I speak for everyone when I say:

Happy 11th birthday, Rosie! It's too bad you won't learn to read and write properly in the public schools; hopefully you'll go to college to make up for it. If you do that, you could even learn to write poetry!

Ryan Seacrest can grow a beard? Is he taking illegal hormones?

Posted by: The Law Fairy on Apr. 5, 2006

Amy, I'd rather be fucking you than Emily Dickenson.

Nobody is or will be fucking Rosie, no wonder she's deranged.

Posted by: Casca on Apr. 5, 2006

Okay maybe I completely misunderstood Simon's statement, but was he *not* trying to out Seacrest on live TV?

"lose the beard" = "lose the disguise" = "you don't have to date women"

??? No?

Posted by: Amy Bo Bamy on Apr. 5, 2006

Nevermind, let's just all agree I need to get my hearing checked.

I totally misheard last night - I thought I heard Simon say, "I’m not the one trying to date someone out of Desperate Housewives," and coupled with "lose the beard" ....Gah.

[I found another site with the actual exchange, man I am so stupid]

Posted by: Amy Bo Bamy on Apr. 5, 2006

I like your interpretation, Amy.

I think Ryan gets the better of those exchanges with Simon about 60% of the time.

Posted by: annika on Apr. 5, 2006

Dumb chicks are hawt!

Posted by: Casca on Apr. 6, 2006