...it's not dark yet, but it's gettin' there...

December 28, 2005

King Kong


Dear Peter Jackson.

i love what you guys are doing with claymation these days, but three hours of watching a monkey grimace is a bit much, don't you think?

your fan,


p.s. i mean, there's only so many ways an ape can make a sad face, you know what i mean? Geez, Roddy McDowell figured that out back in the seventies.

thanks again,


p.p.s. The dino stampede was nice, but Spielberg already did one. Remember? Plus, i don't think a .45 caliber tommy gun is going to do much against a velociraptor, let alone a brontosaurus an apatosaurus, except make it madder.

luv ya,


p.p.p.s. Me again. Sorry, i just don't get the whole "girl loves monkey" thing. You know, Adrian Brody may not be the handsomest dude out there, but he does have a certain charm. At the very least, a cute blonde with a nice figure like Naomi Watts, shouldn't have to settle for a simian.


p.p.p.p.s. i thought about my last p.s. and i should have added that i did find myself having feelings for the big furry primate by the end of the deal. Why'd you have to kill him?


p.p.p.p.p.s. Who knew Jack Black could carry a whole picture? Oh, and if you wanted to cast Nicole Kidman, but she was unavailable, you couldn't have found a better facsimile than Naomi Watts. There were moments when i thought i was looking at Nicole for a second. Interesting that the two of them grew up in Australia and are actually close friends.

yours truly,


p.p.p.p.p.p.s. The biplanes looked totally fake. It kind of ruined it for me. Biplanes move a lot slower in real life than you showed them. Maybe most people wouldn't notice that, but i'm kind of a biplane nut.



p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s. i swear this is the last one. i thought the original KK was overrated. i've actually heard it referred to as the "greatest American film" ever, which is ridiculous. Like nobody's made a better movie since 1933? Come on. Your remake certainly was better. And you outdid the De Laurentiis version too. (But then De Laurentiis's sucked.) In all honesty Peter, i think you are a modern day DeMille. Keep making epics, you're good at them. i'll keep seeing them.

This King Kong was like three movies in one. The first hour was a trip through depression era New York. Nicely done. i love imagining what different periods of history looked like, and you really brought it alive for me.

The second hour was an action thriller, with monsters and lots of creepy-crawlies. It was fun, although it almost succumbed to the "Temple Of Doom" syndrome (too much action) in places. Not to worry though, i figured i could afford to miss at least one perilous escape to go relieve my bladder, and i was right.

The third act was the tragedy. No surprises there, and it may have been the weakest part of the movie. Like i said, the whole gorilla - blonde love association thing is just not believable. They must have known they couldn't have a future together. i mean, how would they do it? It's a stretch.

But overall, i'd give your KK a 3 stars on the Netflix scale ("liked it"). Definitely worth seeing, although it's an hour too long.


annie bananie

Posted by annika, Dec. 28, 2005 | TrackBack (0)
Rubric: Let's Go To Hollywood


Thanks for ruining the ending!

cya shug

p.s. Only kidding


Posted by: shug on Dec. 28, 2005

"It's a stretch"?

Your Pun License is hereby revoked.

p.s.: In the unlikely event that the pun was accidental, you may so state and I will consider reducing your sentence to sixty days' probation for gross negligence.

Posted by: Matt on Dec. 28, 2005

At least Dino ended up being the ultimate forebear for Food Network's Giada.

Posted by: Chris on Dec. 28, 2005

Uh, it's Wednesday? Poetry day?

Sadly, it's too late to hijack this thread with a stupid limerick contest. Maybe next week.

Posted by: Victor on Dec. 28, 2005

I will wait till its out on DVD so i can fast forward. Got no patience these days.

Posted by: Kyle N on Dec. 29, 2005

Happy belated X-mas and hoping you have a wonderful New Year. Have been logged of the net for the holidays!


Posted by: maizzy on Dec. 29, 2005

This review has left me p.s.'ed off.

Posted by: reagan80 on Dec. 29, 2005

i corrected a mistake in the review, where i criticized De Laurentiis's body of work. i had him confused with Franco Zeffirelli. Actually De Laurentiis produced some really great movies, including Army of Darkness, U-571 & Anzio, along with some misses like Battle of the Bulge.

Posted by: annika on Dec. 29, 2005

Ani you need to stop with the p.p.p.p.p.p.p.ps
if you going to say something then put it in the

Posted by: lil'Tiger on Dec. 29, 2005

That is very good letter writing advice, lil'Tiger. Thank you.

Posted by: annika on Dec. 29, 2005

Haven't seen the movie yet but, judging from the reviews I've read so far, you've prolly nailed it.

p.s. I think that the ape-girl "love" thing is more of a "kindred spirit" type o'thang than a sexual thang.

p.p.s. Hey, your cartoon eyes blink! That's so cute!!!

Posted by: Tuning Spork on Dec. 29, 2005