...it's not dark yet, but it's gettin' there...

November 17, 2005

i Don't Do College Football

i don't do college football predictions, because i don't know enough about it. But since i've had such luck with the pros this year, and since all you people seem to want to talk about is college ball, here goes.

The Big Game: Cal is favored by seven. The Bears will crush Stanford by fourteen.

Alabama vs. Auburn: i love Auburn. Defense appears to be their weak spot, but i expect them to get the W, if not cover their seven point spread. Alabama will then drop in the BCS, opening a post season bowl spot for the undeserving Ducks.

Syracuse vs. Notre Dame: Just because i'm Catholic, do i have to root for Notre Dame? i don't think so. i read a spirited defense of ND's number 6 ranking, but i'm not buying it. One close game against SC doesn't convince me that they're better than Ohio State, for instance. On the other hand, i've always had this unreasonable dislike for Syracuse. i don't know why. It may have something to do with a tournament pool i lost a few years back, thanks to them. The Green will trounce the Orangemen.

The Ohio State University vs. Michigan: The hidden offense will be revealed, just in time. OSU by a TD.

Southern Cal vs. Fresno State: Looking at Fresno's mascot, i'm wondering whether John Thompson should be their coach. Talk about over-rated. Who have they beaten this year? Carroll and Leinart will embarrass the Hoyas by at least three touchdowns. No, make it four.

Penn State vs. Michigan State: Penn State is back, baby. i can't understand why they're only 7 point favorites over the 5-5 Spartans. i'd spot Michigan State at least 17.

The Civil War: Since 1997, the winner of this rivalry has alternated between Oregon and Oregon State every year. It's the Duck's turn this year. Ducks by seven with their quarterback platoon.

Posted by annika, Nov. 17, 2005 | TrackBack (1)
Rubric: Sports


I love it! Especially about Casca's pussies and their "hidden" offense.

Re: USC...John David Booty will play most of the game, after Reggie gets his yardage and LenDale gets his, the rest of the team will get some playing time, thus the margin will be narrower than you think.

Posted by: shelly on Nov. 17, 2005

Would love to see Penn State against Notre Dame in a bowl...Both OSU teams suck, if anyone didn't know.

Posted by: Scof on Nov. 17, 2005

Well, Annie, I'm not a Catholic but love this version of Notre Dame. Quinn is the best quarterback to wear a Notre Dame jersey since Montana. And that tall, skinny white receiver (with really bad hair) is freakin' awesome. This team will be a top 5 team next year. Are they better than Ohio State? Toss up. But the most important position on a football team is quarterback. Quinn is better than Zwick, in my opinion.

Posted by: Blu on Nov. 17, 2005

I salute your picks except for one. Notre Dame will beat Syracuse. God I love College Football! I love this time of the year!. My only concern is that I have noticed an alrming trend in College football in recent years. Cheerleaders with no tits! Little skiny flat chested waifs, its damm unamerican.

Posted by: kyle on Nov. 17, 2005

Kyle, i pick the Irish to win, too.

And remember, your hostess was a cheerleader once, before you go off on skinny flat-chested waifs.

Posted by: annika on Nov. 17, 2005

You tell 'em, Annie.

Besides which, every kind are good; only immature guys think that way. Good legs also rank high on the list.

Woody Hayes football is no longer in vogue; you actually have to put it up in the air these days to win football games. Even Paterno knows that...

Posted by: shelly on Nov. 17, 2005

just wait a couple weeks.
cheerleader heaven.

Posted by: louielouie on Nov. 17, 2005

Oh, how I hope you are right about the Big Game. I think it'll be close: 26-24, Cal. I'm excited we've finally changed QBs.

Posted by: Hugo on Nov. 17, 2005

College football is great. The pageantry, the traditions and best of all, one loss and you're out - the only sport where the entire season is a playoff (unlike the useless NBA and NHL regular seasons where everyone but the Clippers and Knicks make the playoffs).

That ND receiver with the "bad hair" is Jeff Samardzija (pronounced Sa-MAR-za), he's awesome. Brady Quinn finally has a real coach in Charlie Weis. GO IRISH!!

Posted by: Thomas Galvin on Nov. 18, 2005

Syracuse doesn't play football anymore. Those guys are imposters.

At least basketball has started.

Posted by: MarkD on Nov. 18, 2005

OK, here's my picks for the week:

Annie is a little off on the line in the Pussies v. Michigoose game, the line is only three, and I think the hidden offense can manage three or more, so I'm backing Big Red with Little Green.

The Bears are only five point favorites, but they're playing on the Farm, and they loose the huge advantage of the deafening crowd of grass crazed blue-painted idiots in Strawberry Canyon, but I figure they can manage to beat the Indians, whoops, make that The Cardinal, by at least that if they keep Joey Ayoob and the Stanford Band off the field. I wish they could both lose, but The Sons of the Wealthy Few should get their checkbooks eaten this week (again).

I like the Hoakies against the Cavs. Frank Beamer is still a great coach, and the Hoakies have some guy named Vick who can turn a game around, if he wants to play. He'll want to play against the traditional rival, and you'll see it.

The Trojans are 23 1/2 favorites against Fresno State, now number 16, if you can believe it.

Fresno can stay close for a half, but when the Trojans get ahead, they'll be wearing down the interior line and the line backers, corners and safeties, and once they get Booty in with the reserves, all those fresh legs will chew up the Bulldogs. Ever see a dog try to chase a galloping horse? They'll be as tired as Traveler V has been all year long having to run at full speed every time we put a number up.

I know I predicted it would be closer than the spread, but I am revising my pick and thinking something like 50+ to 21. Game time is 7:30 P.M. so it'll be way past Casca's bedtime, but you guys might want to TIVO it if you want to see a real offense. No need to hide it; they could do a Babe Ruth on every play and still make the gains. Ever hear of the play "Student Body Right"? It was invented at USC.

UCLA in December 3, then Texas on January 4.

The die is cast.

God I love College Football; the crowd can read and write, and most have never been in jail. People really get excited, and the kids play their heart out and seldom criticize the coach, the management or the fans. Terrel Owens can suck my shorts and so can Al Davis. Especially Al.

Posted by: shelly on Nov. 18, 2005

Your calculated affronts have little effect on me, since I have enough imagination to understand the lack of fulfillment in a life spent wearing depends. It's bound to make one bitter.

However I can't allow such a gratuitous claim, that "student body right" was invented at USC, to stand unchallenged, when you clearly know that it was a Woody Hayes invention. All we know for sure about USC is that you can't spell "sucks" without it. Lastly, keep on whistling, you may make it past this graveyard yet, hehehehe. Fresno State is going to show up ready to play tomorrow.

Posted by: Casca on Nov. 18, 2005

They better bring a an Abrams Tank and some SAM's and a whole lot more, because they won't be the first, or the last team who points for USC.

Maybe they best talk to Oklahoma, or Stanford, or a couple of others. Or, they ought to get some folks who can read and write.

Nope, SC's too talented and too deep. No upset in The Coliseum this weekend. Like I said, stick to simple equations, like Big 10 gruntball, you know, three in the center and out.

By the way, Howard Jones taught the play to Woody, you know.

Posted by: shelly on Nov. 18, 2005

Thought Fresno State were the Bulldogs... Hoyas?

Here's some College Football math, Stanford beat WSU, UC Davis beat Stanford (that still makes me laugh) South Dakota State stomped UCDavis, so SDSU could kick WSU out the stadiun, right? RIGHT?

Posted by: Wayne on Nov. 18, 2005

Didn't he use to have a chain of grotesque little motels all over the country?

Posted by: Casca on Nov. 19, 2005

Still hidden.

Damn, I should have known better than to bet on the Pussies. Even though they got lucky and pulled it out, they didn't cover. Again. As usual.

Who could stand to be a Big Red fan? Shit, I'd rather be old and infirm, and unable to remember where I went to school.

Good thing it was just a small bet...

Posted by: shelly on Nov. 19, 2005

Damn. I was WRONG. I thought the Pussies were five point favorites and they were only but 3, so they COVERED. Barely, by ONE point.

But, a win is a win, and they are now bowl-eligible. Not a real BCS kinda bowl, but a pussy bowl, like Nevada, or Hawaii, or San Antonio or somewhere only Casca might go. Maybe Youngstown.

Meanwhile, I could sweep the four, if Cal can keep Joey Ayoob off the field, and USC will play the team instead of the red squad.

Hooray for P.S.U. !!!!

Posted by: shelly on Nov. 19, 2005

OK, I've finally come to, after crawling out into the sun after six hours of drinking at Moondoggies in PB, and screaming over the crowd. Let me see, ah yes, you ARE OLD, INFIRM, AND UNABLE TO REMEMBER WHERE YOU WENT TO SCHOOL!

What a great game, a classic Ohio State v Michigan battle. Tressel is now 4-1 over Lloyd Carr.

Posted by: Casca on Nov. 19, 2005

Oh, BTW, in case you're uninformed, Keith Jackson is a gibbering ass-sucking cornpone fucktard.

Posted by: Casca on Nov. 19, 2005

I can't believe that the USC/Fresno game isn't broadcast????? WTF??? Guess it's more important to see... hockey on FSN???

Posted by: Casca on Nov. 19, 2005

Hmmmm, 21-13 at the half. Is your asshole puckering?

Posted by: Casca on Nov. 19, 2005

USC just put up 21. Looks like they were only taking the first half off.

Posted by: annika on Nov. 19, 2005

Let's wait for a final score before we jump to conclusions about the fecklessness of the dickcovers.

Posted by: Casca on Nov. 19, 2005

Hello Sports Fans.

My wife had a horse that was jumping tonight (don't fucking ask) and my 11 year old grandson was sick, so I went to the jumps.

Just got back in time to see the usual second half adjustments.

Let's see, the Pussies got lucky at the end of the game, the Hoakies just kicked ass, and the Bears akso kicked ass. So far, I'm three for three.

Now, USC has come awake (as predicted).

We will win it, do not doubt.

Fight on!!!!!!!

Posted by: shelly on Nov. 19, 2005

Gotta hand it to Fresno State; they came to play.

Not like the Columbus Pussies.

Posted by: shelly on Nov. 19, 2005

Hey Casca, dontcha just love Pac 10 officiating?

Posted by: shelly on Nov. 19, 2005

I'm sure that it was the difference in the game, something along the lines of what Texas Tech got away with yesterday. Between the announcers who are in the tank, and the officials who are either incompetent or corrupt, they diminish the sport. The Miami/Georgia Tech game last night was another excellent example. The officials in Miami were falling all over themselves to keep them in the game.

Posted by: Casca on Nov. 20, 2005

My wife had a horse that was jumping tonight (don't fucking ask) and my 11 year old grandson was sick, so I went to the jumps.

One might think that a "man" who would miss his team's game on a national championship run in order to play the gelded stallion would be more cautious than to bandy the word pussy about so gratuitously. Then again, many are not given to self-examination.

Posted by: Casca on Nov. 20, 2005

The horror...the horror...

A player's worst nightmare, picking the winner and then getting off and switching to a loser.

Three out of four ain't bad, but losing a bet with my guys does hurt. No doubt about it, the Bulldogs came to play, and gave them as good a game as anyone else, with the notable exception of the mackerel stabbers.

Bruins next, December 3, in the Coliseum, then Texas January 4 in the Rose Bowl.

Where will the Pussies be in post season? Hawaii? Las Vegas? Boise? Detroit? San Antonio?

Posted by: shelly on Nov. 20, 2005

Where will the Pussies be in post season?

At the jumps?

Posted by: Casca on Nov. 20, 2005

Well, I guess if you mean the World Cup, that would have been in Las Vegas, with the Championsip in Kuala Lumpur. But, I draw the line at that, so I won't be there, even if OSU is playing Bowling Green or Slippery Rock.

Face it man, The Buckeyes are a big diappointment this year; hopes of a major bowl have turned into hope to make bowl eligible.

And then a team without a D makes it all the way. Life's a bitch.

Posted by: shelly on Nov. 20, 2005

All skill is in vain if an angel pisses in your flintlock.

Posted by: Casca on Nov. 21, 2005

Still, it will be the defenseless wonders roping, tying and branding the horns on January 4 in the mother of all shootouts. That burning smell in the air will be the burnt orange getting their butts singed.

If the over and under is less than 90, take the over. Hell, even if it isn't, take the over anyway and enjoy rooting for just one more TD from anybody.

Out here in the west, we're up to coordinated air strikes with smart ordinance; the flintlocks are still only in use in the midwest, primarily in the Big 10.

They might be in use in Detroit, however at the Motor City Bowl.

Posted by: shelly on Nov. 22, 2005

O.K. Annie, take a week off and then let us know your picks for USC/UCLA and other games of some magnitude on December 3.

In the meantime, catch up on your reading and briefing and look forward to being bored to death next year.

Posted by: shelly on Nov. 22, 2005