...it's not dark yet, but it's gettin' there...

August 05, 2005

Dukes Of Hazzard Review

i didn't want to add to any of the Dukes Of Hazzard hype that's been going on, but i have to link to the San Francisco Chronicle's review. It may be the funniest review ever, certainly the most scathing movie review i've ever seen.

There are routine movies and others that blaze a trail. There are routine bad movies and others so horrendous that they redefine bad, that make us look up synonyms for agonizing and abysmal and then gnash our teeth because the language has not kept pace with the decline of film. There are even movies that are so blazingly rotten that they can redefine past experiences and make us look back on recent weak efforts like 'Stealth' or 'Fantastic Four' and think, 'Ooh, that was fascinating.'

'The Dukes of Hazzard' is hardly some routine bad movie. Rather, it's one of the elite, right up there with 'I Am Curious ... Yellow' (1967) and Bo Derek's 'Ghosts Can't Do It' (1990), in stiff competition for the lamest thing ever put on celluloid. Of course, that makes it, by default, the worst film so far of the 21st century, but to say that does little to acknowledge the ambition behind this project. Make no mistake, director Jay Chandrasekhar was swinging for the fences with this one. He was shooting for the millennium.

The movie establishes, with startling economy, that it's about two imbeciles. In a sleepy rural county, a red car comes blazing down a country road, careening and swerving, while the two morons in the front seats yell 'Woo-ooo!' and 'Yee-haaa!' These are Bo (Seann William Scott) and Luke Duke (Johnny Knoxville), the loudest, laughingest, hell-raisingest pair of single- celled organisms ever to get a Georgia driver's license.

lol. It gets better.

Posted by annika, Aug. 5, 2005 | TrackBack (1)
Rubric: Let's Go To Hollywood


This guy's got sort of a greatest hits of bitch-slaps


Posted by: ken on Aug. 5, 2005

Oh, and the New York Post gives it three stars

Posted by: ken on Aug. 5, 2005

Roger Ebert has a pretty funny (yet equally as scathing review too.

And yet, I still want to see it. Like a train wreck, I know I shouldn't be watching it, but I can't take my eyes off of it.....

Posted by: Amy Bo Bamy on Aug. 5, 2005

Very funny review...reminds me of Joe Morgenstern's review of Lost In Space: The movie's f/x and soundtrack is like wrapping a baseball bat in a towel and repeatedly striking yourself in the head.

Posted by: Jason O. on Aug. 5, 2005

His claim of it being the worst film in the 21st century is untrue. Anything done by michael fat ass moore has that distinction.

Posted by: Theresa on Aug. 5, 2005

Now now, If you've never seen Donny and Marie in "Going Coconuts", you've never really seen a truly bad movie.

Posted by: Casca on Aug. 5, 2005

While I would agree in principle with Theresa, Dukes can't be worse than Thelma and Louise.

Posted by: Wayne on Aug. 5, 2005

As for Dukes of Hazzard…
Nothing has summed it up better than CNN’s review that “this flick is a car wreck with boobs.”

Posted by: Sean on Aug. 5, 2005

I was surprised by how little I hated it.

Posted by: Jim Treacher on Aug. 8, 2005