...it's not dark yet, but it's gettin' there...
I have discovered amazing evidence that Global Warming is real, that it is caused by human activity, and that we are quickly approaching the end of the world.
I looked at my TTLB stats tonight, and the graph for average daily visits to my blog looked frighteningly familiar. By consulting my scientific sources (i.e. I googled it) I was able to find a graph showing the recent increase in average global temperatures.
Sure enough, when I superimposed the two graphs, an inconvenient truth emerged!
The debate is over, the science is in: My blog is at fault for global warming.
Well, as soon as I realized this, my first thought was, "how embarrassing." My second thought was, "If I am to blame, what can I do to save the planet?"
So now you know why, in sixty days time, I will retire this blog. Sorry about that.
For a REAL demonstration of the effects of Global Warming, see this photo.
Posted by: John Hughes on Mar. 21, 2007Think of your loyal posters as insurgents in Iraq.
You try to leave, we're coming after you...
Posted by: shelly on Mar. 21, 2007That's a good analogy Shelly. You know what happens when she pulls out... the guys with the most guns make the rules. Can one of you hold the camera while I cut a few heads off?
Posted by: Casca on Mar. 21, 2007she's no good with the poker face, 60 days, bah!
Posted by: Scof on Mar. 22, 2007If your blog ends in 60 days, we will revoke your membership in the IPP Party as retribution.
Do you want that? I don't think so.
Posted by: Preston on Mar. 22, 2007The alternative to global warming is global cooling. If you end your blog, the planet could end up covered with a one mile thick ice pack! Please think about this.
Posted by: joints on Mar. 22, 2007The girl has to study for the Bar exam; it is quite understandable to those of us who have facedthis moment of truth.
I suggest we offer her a three month leave of absence and see if she'll consider that.
Posted by: shelly on Mar. 22, 2007Maybe Al Gore can take over the blog in the three month period. I want to hear more about the Lock...Box.
Posted by: Ontario Emperor on Mar. 22, 2007So, when are you going to start selling offsets?
Posted by: BobG on Mar. 22, 2007You're not quite there, but at least examining the data closely is a start. It's a very complex subject, so spin doctors from any angle can put their spin on a lay public.
Posted by: will on Mar. 22, 2007What about *blogging* offsets? Each *server* uses electricity, not to mention the associated routers, switches, etc, so every blog is using a proportional share of the power sucked down by those devices.
We could have a group of patriotic global citizens who will accept contributions in order to foreswear blogging, and bloggers could then show their environmental bona fides, in the Al Gore tradition, by purchasing these offsets...
Posted by: david foster on Mar. 22, 2007Where have you guys been? I've been selling offsets since March 4th. In fact Shelly was nice enough to buy the first set, and I never thanked him for it. Thank you Shelly, not only are you a sweetheart, you are a great environmentalist!
Posted by: annika on Mar. 22, 2007After much consideration I've decided to live with the increase in temperature and Sea level (I don't own coastal property) in favor of Annika's Journal.
Posted by: Mike C. on Mar. 24, 2007Thanks for solving this global temperature problem. Al Gore looks more like an angry chipmunk everyday...
absurd thought -
God of the Universe says
spread hysteria
wildly exaggerate
scare little kids not ready
.
Is this one of those Michael Jordan retirements? I hope not, but I'll take Annika playing basketball or baseball.
Posted by: Mark on Mar. 27, 2007Oh gosh, does this mean you also had something to do with Anna Nicole's baby girl?
Posted by: NOTR on Mar. 28, 2007