...it's not dark yet, but it's gettin' there...

January 11, 2007

Blech-am Is Coming To America

Resist the Beckham hype!

Soccer is like communism. All true Americans shun and despise it. Now, MLS has managed to pluck has-been soccer megastar David Beckham in their latest attempt to force feed soccer to US sports fans.

Well let me be the first to say I won't stand for it. Americans gave the world baseball, football and basketball, and this is how the rest of the world repays us? With eurotrash David and Victoria Beckham?

Just say no to the hype that is sure to surround Beckham's Coming to America tour. I'm already feeling nauseated by the inevitable oh-so-serious Nike ads featuring Beckham bicycle kicking a soccer ball at supersonic speed through the back of a net fifty miles away — in grainy black and white with a techno soundtrack. Puleeeze, spare me. Soccer will always remain just notch between chess and tetherball on the excitometer, no matter how many spice girls you dress it up with.

Just say no to the Beckham hype!

Soccerus est communismus!

Posted by annika, Jan. 11, 2007 | TrackBack (0)
Rubric: Sports


Well said, as always Annika.

Posted by: Roach on Jan. 11, 2007

How is a MLS franchise, with no national TV market going to pay that kind of salary? I know its big in LA and here in Houston, anywhere the illegals hold sway, but they don't even charge that much for games, and never sell out. I don't understand the economics of it.

Posted by: kyle8 on Jan. 11, 2007

We gave the world baseball? Based on the British game of rounders. Football, based on the British game of Rugby and basketball, that's a game played by English school girls. The only game worth watching in the US is hockey and we got that from the Canadians.

Posted by: Nicksta on Jan. 11, 2007

I'm in total agreement. I've always been an Emma Bunton fan.

Posted by: Casca on Jan. 11, 2007

The following two words explains soccer in a nutshell: Weak sport!

Posted by: joe on Jan. 11, 2007

The difference between football and soccer is largely the difference between believing that one can achieve a goal through a plan, and believing that progress is a myth, wherein goal-achievement occurs stochastically, produced by the blind, haphazard interaction of forces and particles.

Although I do enjoy soccer, I'm forced to admit that it would be much more entertaining if played with live grenades.


Posted by: Kevin Kim on Jan. 12, 2007

Having lived in Europe for seven years, I have to admit to being a fan of soccer, as well as playing and coaching. However, I stand firmly in the anti-beckham camp. There is no amount of justification for the salary given to a player who has passed his prime playing in a country that doesn't, as a whole, enjoy the sport.

Posted by: Frank on Jan. 12, 2007

> Soccer is like communism. All true Americans shun and despise it.

I like your dry humour, though sometimes people like to get points across that way.

I don't watch much soccer, but then again I no longer watch much sports on TV (don't watch much TV at that). So while I used to be a huge Redskins fan, I no have no sports idols or real favorites. I understand those who do, however, and it can be fun and exciting.

I do coach my daughters' soccer teams and it's a great way for them to get their exercise and foster team thinking. And they're as all-american as the next kid.

Posted by: will on Jan. 12, 2007


The only thing I look fwd to, now that becks will be playing in a 80% empty American stadiums, is the crowd chanting "Posh won't take it in the ass". It will be interesting to see what those dolts at ESPN say when the chant starts.

Posh twisting uncomfortable in her chair whilst being interviewed by a lad mag said "no she didn't" when asked if she let Becks put it in her heinie. English soccer fans taunt Becks at games with this tidbit.

Posted by: strawman on Jan. 12, 2007

Posh won't do Greek? That f***** iceberg!

Posted by: elmondohummus on Jan. 12, 2007

When will the U.S. come to realize that the world loves soccer and we should too. Why don't we join with the rest of the World Community?
Let's look at the variety of sports available in other countries......
USA.......NFL Football, American League Baseball, National League Baseball, The National Basketball League, National Hockey league, NCAA College Football, NCAA College Basketball, WTA, PGA, and NASCAR…….
Why we haven't come to our senses and accepted soccer is curious indeed......
Oh I forgot......WNBA, Boxing, Professional bowling, bull riding, Monster Trucks, Motocross,Curling............

Posted by: stiknstein on Jan. 12, 2007

To be fair stick, England has cricket and rugby, Spain has bullfighting. The French have smoking. and all of the mideastern nations have dodging grenades
and shooting guns into the air.

Posted by: kyle8 on Jan. 12, 2007

Stiknstein, Britain also televises billiards. And of course, the Scots invented golf. So they got that going for them, which is nice. And Aussie rules football is pretty hardcore. But the Aussies are about the closest thing to Americans there is in the world.

Strawman, thanks for the info, I can't wait for his first game now.

Will, you totally crack me up. If I had to imagine your voice, I think you would sound just like Laurence Harvey. btw, I loved to play soccer when I was a kid. All that running around is good exercise too. And in defense of soccer as a participant sport, it's pretty democratic. Anybody can play and skill level doesn't mean as much as in other sports for kids.

Posted by: annika on Jan. 12, 2007

Course I had to leave Aussies off the list because they do play (real) football without pads.....and they're one of the few people that have the cajones not to take any crap from the Imams ....SCOOOOOOORRRRRRRR.......

Posted by: stiknstein on Jan. 12, 2007

>I think you would sound just like Laurence Harvey.

No I sound like Laurence Olivier? While not Lithuanian, perhaps more like Jimmy Stewart in "Harvey", so Annika's anapestic shoe fits. Let's then hope neither daughter becomes a bounty hunter...

Posted by: will on Jan. 12, 2007

Posh twisting uncomfortable in her chair whilst being interviewed by a lad mag said "no she didn't" when asked if she let Becks put it in her heinie

Are you kidding? She'll never get pregnant unless he misses and gets it in the wrong hole!

Beckham congratulates himself after a "score"!

Posted by: Radical Redneck on Jan. 12, 2007

Hey RR,

You neve said you lived in Queens? Who held the camera for you?

Posted by: strawman on Jan. 13, 2007

Where does all this animus for soccer come from? It's a great game. Try playing it for more than 10 minutes and see if you're not coughing up both lungs.

Plus, Italy won World Cup #4 last summer. And we did it without Beckham!

Posted by: Mark on Jan. 14, 2007

Mark, I could say that the team from Bumfuck, Egypt won. Who the hell would know? The point is that it is a pointless sport that doesn't appeal to our culture. So, fuck it.

Posted by: Casca on Jan. 14, 2007

Until they figure out how to insert commercials into a soccer match with the frequency and intensity of NFL football, there is little chance that soccer will ever make the bucks that football, basketball and baseball pull in.

They've tried running commercials on the bottom, in split screens, etc. and none of it works.

They still sell big numbers of tickets in LA where the Latino and Euro crowds show up on game day to buy seats, but they are lower income folks, by and large, and come five or six to a car, lowering income from parking, and there are so few breaks that they sell very little food and beer, etc.

There are no scalpers, and the seats that they do pre-sell are sold in bodegas and local stores, only.

Beats me where the money to pay Spice Boy is coming from, probably just Phil Anshutz trying to bolster sales, as he owns several teams.

Dunno about you guys, but soccer puts me to sleep, and I try to only watch World Championship or Olympic games stuff, if at all.

Women's soccer is also a bore, with the sole exception of the game where they won the Cup.

I'd rather watch corn grow in Iowa.

Posted by: shelly on Jan. 15, 2007

I was confused about the economics, also, until I heard that most of the money comes from endorsement rights (I believe from existing contracts). The Galaxy will only have to lay out a few million at most.

The only quibble that I have with soccer is when person A commits a foul on person B and person B goes into immediate death spasms. Other than that, it's a game refreshingly void of TV timeouts.

I forgot about the violence. Not good either, although the idea of some soccer fans beating up some Raiders fans seems somewhat pleasing.

Posted by: Ontario Emperor on Jan. 15, 2007

Casca, you're free to dislike it, but it's not any more "pointless" than other sports.

Hockey: put puck in net.

Basketball: throw ball into circular ring.

Football: get ball past goal line.

Baseball: hit ball and circle bases.

Soccer: kick ball in net.

Posted by: Mark on Jan. 15, 2007

You are a very foolish man.

WTF is going on around here? Hellooooo, are you lost in the mountains, or on a sexcapade? I need some posts, and I need them now.

Posted by: Casca on Jan. 15, 2007

Nobody even knows who they are in this country. They tried to clear out a store in Beverly Hills to allow them to "shop" by themselves, but the owner refused, saying that they may be stars across the pond, but here they are nothing.

Posted by: SH on Jan. 16, 2007

Good for the shop owner! I think the Beckhams will find that they're little fish in a big pond o'celebrities here in the U.S.

Posted by: Joules on Jan. 16, 2007

David Beckham playing for the Galaxy won't increase my interest in MLS.

Posted by: part america on Jan. 29, 2007