...it's not dark yet, but it's gettin' there...

December 04, 2006

Bolton Is Out, Who Should Be Next?

John Bolton was one of the best UN Ambassadors we've had. But a minority of Senators decided he was too tough for the job. So he's out.

Apparently, being tough is not an asset for a UN Ambassador. I might have thought otherwise, but we live in a different era now. John Bolton would have fit in better during some earlier time in our nation's history when standing up for his country's interests was something we wanted our ambassadors to do.

No longer. The key requirement for a UN Ambassador these days is likeability. He or she should be well thought of by the international diplomatic corps. And to be well thought of, one needs to make concessions. Well known anti-American Kofi Annan said so himself:

"I think Ambassador Bolton did the job he was expected to do," Annan said, before launching on a discourse about how important it is for ambassadors to "understand that to get concessions, they have to make concessions."
In other words, even if the UN has lost its way, our UN Ambassador should just go along to get along. We need a kinder, gentler, friendlier ambassador who will make everybody feel good.

The question now is, with the above requirements in mind, who should replace Bolton?

The White House gave no immediate signs of its plans for a successor, but people who have been mentioned both inside and outside the administration as possible successors include the American ambassador to Iraq, Zalmay Khalilzad; Philip Zelikow, the State Department counselor; Paula Dobriansky, under secretary of state for democracy and global affairs; and [Senator Lincoln] Chafee.
I'm not sure any of those guys have what it takes to be a good UN Ambassador under the new criteria. What we need is a real wimp, somebody with no agenda, very little intelligence, and someone whose overriding concern is the need to be liked. That's the surest way to get the good old U. S. of A.'s poll numbers back on top, the way they were under Clinton, when Matt Allbright was ambassador and chief doormat.

I have been known to favor celebrities for positions at the UN. Since celebrities have been in the vanguard on the issue of U.S. global likeability, what could be more obvious than that we need a celebrity at the UN Ambassadorship? Almost without exception, celebrities possess the requisite qualities of low intelligence and a desperate desire to be well thought of.

Therefore, I suggest Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake as co-ambassadors to the United Nations. The fact that Justin was once in a boy band should be a big advantage in dealing with the hyper-sensitive international diplomatic corps. What could be less threatening than a boy band member? Plus JT is about as dumb as half a stump, so if you team him up with Cameron Diaz, you get an intellectual total that equals about... half a stump. They would make perfect ambassadors under the newer, friendlier, criteria.

Posted by annika, Dec. 4, 2006 | TrackBack (0)
Rubric: annikapunditry



Comments

Cameron and Justin may actually both be smarter than Albright, who, of course, set a standard for a lack of intelligence in that particular position.

Posted by: blu on Dec. 4, 2006

Dark days for the Republic. I wish Bolton well.

Posted by: Casca on Dec. 4, 2006

Bolton leaving is an absolute shame. Not only will it be more of the same at the U.N. but likely worse than ever. Plus we've just installed the Kofi lover party as majority in Congress. What were we thinking?

Posted by: Mike C. on Dec. 4, 2006

Rummy's my choice. He can serve for a year with a recess appointment; IN YOUR FACE!!!!!

BTW, I actualy know both Justin and Cameron. They are nice, gentle souls and not consumed with themselves as other certain clebs who are now banned from these pages.

They drive their own cars, no security. They are friendly and nice people. And, YOU should be so dumb, and successful. They manage their careers properly and that takes smarts.

So, back off on this one, Annie. You've got it wrong.

Posted by: shelly on Dec. 4, 2006

Bolton suffered from an public airing of his vein-popping tirades, which showed that he as ill-suited as the US's leading diplomat. But this was simply one in a long string of abysmal appointments, from Cheney, Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz, Hadley, on down the line.

A UN Ambassador must have the social skills to be able to work together with others to achieve the goals of the country, not simply obstinately press the failed New American Century dogma. Bolton represented the arrogant, we-run-the-world approach that has backfired horribly in our faces.

My conservative republican attorney father-in-law, who only obtained his news from FoxNews, NewsMaxx, etc, read "Fiasco" recently, and has gone through a deep soul-searching about this Administration and his

Posted by: will on Dec. 5, 2006

Bolton suffered from an public airing of his vein-popping tirades, which showed that he as ill-suited as the US's leading diplomat. But this was simply one in a long string of abysmal appointments, from Cheney, Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz, Hadley, on down the line.

A UN Ambassador must have the social skills to be able to work together with others to achieve the goals of the country, not simply obstinately press the failed New American Century dogma. Bolton represented the arrogant, we-run-the-world approach that has backfired horribly in our faces.

My conservative republican attorney father-in-law, who only obtained his news from FoxNews, NewsMaxx, etc, read "Fiasco" recently, and has gone through a deep soul-searching about this Administration and his outlook on political veracity of his once cherished party.

Posted by: will on Dec. 5, 2006

To borrow a term, who let this corksucker back in here? Begone fucktard.

Posted by: Casca on Dec. 5, 2006

Hey Will,

Do you get your talking points straight from the DNC? What a fucking pathetic 6th grade attempt at analysis.

And I'm happy that "Fiasco" is on the family reading list. Wow. Impressive. Really. If you can't tell, I'm really, really impressed. If you did more than repeat DNC rhetoric, you might have heard Hugh Hewitt tear Ricks a new asshole for millions to hear on the public airwaves. Just writing for the WaPo makes his writing suspect.

Do us a favor, Will, and post something you thought of yourself. At least, Straw is original most of the time. You're just a smug, self-involved plagiarizer, who claims to be "moderate" but isn't.

And, BTW, most of the Bolton's colleagues felt like he did a very good job. And, unlike Albright, he actually brought some ideas and an IQ to the game. Why is a doormat like Albright better than a highly intelligent, forceful, patriot like Bolton? She's not - unless you are a professional America hater (read: you).

Save your nonsense for some other place, Will. I'm sure you could go rant along with Koz and the Gang. Are maybe you could get Soros to provide you with some start-up money for your own site where could just post the DNC talking points each day.

Besides, as Casca said of another smug contributor, "your posts uniformly suck.

Posted by: blu on Dec. 5, 2006

I come to the ass-kicking a little late, but better late than never.

I endorse all of Casca's and Blu's views and add one of my own:

Isn't it time to understand that we are in a war to the death???

Go to this site and take an hour to listen to an intelligent human being who knows of what she speaks:

"Because They Hate: A Survivor of Islamic Terror Warns America"

http://www.heritage.org/Press/Events/ev092706a.cfm

After you've listened to Brigitte, tell us what you then actually think (not what Soros says). If you do good, we may get off your ass.

Posted by: shelly on Dec. 5, 2006

Celebrities?

There's always Gweneth. She thinks about America when prompted to.


Kevin

Posted by: Kevin Kim on Dec. 5, 2006

Is there anyone you don't know, Shelly?

Posted by: annika on Dec. 5, 2006

Pardon the Konglish spelling-- I meant "Gwyneth."

Shelly, since you're so plugged in-- do you know anyone who could use the services of a professional cellist? My little brother's a fantastic player.


Kevin

Posted by: Kevin Kim on Dec. 5, 2006

Tell him to get a job and an agent.

On the other hand, Casca amy need him after Florida beats up OSU.

Posted by: shelly on Dec. 5, 2006

Blu,

You're in dittohead, broadcast mode; that's one reason the hammer came down Nov 7th. Smug, cocky, arrogant Republicans felt they could jerk the chains of the Religious Right to come vote for their scare scenarios. Their fantasy fell down around them when too many scandals broke the camel's back; Americans chose another party, rightly or wrongly, to lead the country.

"smug self-involved plaigerizer". On which blog did you find that phrase, and how do you apply it here, specifically?

Bolton an "intelligent, forceful, patriot"? One out of 3 isn't bad, but anyone can be a thug, so I hardly see that as a desirable attribute for America's main diplomat. And I'd like to see your source about "most of his colleagues" saying he did a swell job.

As far as following DNC talking points, I don't even visit their site, nor do I hang around with party hacks of either side. Again, my ultimate choice for President '08 would be John McCain, who, the last time I checked, is not a Democrat. YMMV.

It's time that some here wake up, step out of their little worlds, and see that Republican bravado no longer gets them attention, beyond the closeted few that refuse to come out.

But Rush and others have a paycheck to collect, so they will rally the ever decreasing ranks of the faithful. They'll still "tear new assholes" in the minds of the dittoheads, but they know that they've taken a big hit. But it beats the alternate of having to get real, productive jobs.

Posted by: will on Dec. 5, 2006

tage.org/Press/Events/ev092706a.cfm

Shelly et al,

I'll accept the challenge if you all would read Fiasco, assuming you don't fear the book or the author. Deal?

Posted by: will on Dec. 5, 2006

Fiasco received a favorable review in NRO. If i didn't have so much reading to do already, I'd pick it up.

Posted by: annika on Dec. 5, 2006

Annie:

51.8%.

Think about it. Save your reading for after the Bar.

I want to swear you in!

Posted by: shelly on Dec. 5, 2006

WTF would I do with a Cellist? I'm not getting married again. As for your gator taunts. The betting window is still open beyotch.

Posted by: Casca on Dec. 5, 2006

Why, to play "Hearts and Flowers" after the upset.

G_d knows I've been playing it all week.

It's gonna be hard to get interested in beating Michigan...wondering which team will show up from Figueroa Tech.

Posted by: shelly on Dec. 6, 2006

Tressel will not be caught unprepared. Not at this point in time with this team. The bigger the game, the more prepared he is.

You have a problem Shelly. I would not be betting the Trojans under any circumstance. UofM has been disrespected by the BCS, and they have something to prove. They're as big, as strong, and as fast as the Buckeyes. SC will be lucky if the center can roll the ball between his legs when they're done with him. Booty will be running for his life all day.

Posted by: Casca on Dec. 6, 2006

Y'know, after Oregon State and UCLA I'm just not sure which team will show up in Pasadena.

It is not a house of pleasant memories for us.

On the other hand, USC has some great talent and if they show up with the team that kicked the crap out of Notre Dame, who knows?

I hope the center can do better than roll the balls. I think that is an OSU specialty.

The snapper is Will Collins, son of my good buddy John. He's had a good year so far.

Posted by: shelly on Dec. 6, 2006

I KNOW you don't know what to do. You're in the doldrums along with Petey. Leadership is the other side of the coaching coin. UofM has everything to prove. USC has to be shellshocked. What's Pete going to say to these guys to get them up for this game? Play hard or they'll kick our ass all day long? For Michigan, this is about respect. This will be a VERY physical game.

Posted by: Casca on Dec. 7, 2006