...it's not dark yet, but it's gettin' there...
I just got a spam e-mail with a new twist. I'm sure you have all gotten those poorly written e-mails from Ojibwe Mumbojibwe of Nigeria, asking for your assistance in an "urgent matter." Well now they've gotten wiser. Here's the twist:
Good day,Losers. They couldn't even spell the name right. Whoever is doing this really needs to brush up on English grammar and spelling if they're going to try this approach. It makes sense if you're posing as Ojibwe, but not if you're trying to sound like an American.My name is Sgt. John Crews Loius, I am an American soldier, I serve in the Military of the 1st Armored Division in Iraq, as you know we have being attacked by insurgents everyday and car bombs. We where lucky to move funds belonging to Saddam Hussein?s family hopping it was a bomb in the box, later we find out it was a fiscal cash .
The total amount is US$25,000,000 Twenty Five Million United State dollars in cash, mostly 100 dollar bills which is still in our co sturdy at the military base camp, now we find it as a Big Risk on us if our commandant nor the Iraqis People get to find out about this box of money because we are not allowed to have any money in our position for that We are seeking for a trustworthy foreign business partner who can help us in receiving this box of money
so that He/She may invest it for us and keep our share for banking. This is our plan of sharing my partner and I will take 55%, you take the other 45%.
No stress attached, for we have made all necessary arrangement for shipping it out of Iraq, Iraq is a war zone. We planed on using diplomatic courier service for shipping the money out in one large silver box declaring it as family valuables using diplomatic immunity.
I wonder if he's related to Tom Crews or Robert Loius Stevenson.
Posted by: The Law Fairy on Apr. 17, 2006I think that maybe I will write them back and offer to correct the spelling and grammar of their letter in exchance for a cut of the profits. *smile*
Posted by: Vonski on Apr. 17, 2006I will start with my own comment as proof of my high-quality work. Exchance=exchange... see how good I am?! Imagine the wonders I could do for your business.
Posted by: Vonski on Apr. 17, 2006How could you pass up an opportunity for some cold hard FISCAL cash. I've never seen it myself, but I hear fiscal cash is 70% gooder than the ordinary kind.
Posted by: JD on Apr. 18, 2006Yeah, that variety of 419 fraud -- the stuff purporting to be from a "US soldier" -- has been popping up for quite a while now, pretty much since the end of the war. Heck, there's even Afghanistan versions of it.
The scary thing is, I have seen real examples of writing that makes this writer's english skills seem close to perfect. An old college roomate of mine hailing from the Arab Emirates had to teach a remedial English writing class as part of his English-as-a-Second-Language program. Oh. My. GOD! Some of these freshmen's papers were soooooo bad... you wonder how they got into college to begin with (well, it was a state college... all you need to get in is an SAT score and a pulse, and I don't think they check for the pulse...). When a foreign guy who started learning English at age 17 is busting out laughing at how poor the language skills are of these native speaking students... well... that pretty much illustrates how bad it was.
Posted by: ElMondoHummus on Apr. 18, 2006The people who fall for these types of emails aren't going to worry about grammar, and aren't going to wonder how a sergeant gets access to a diplomatic pouch.
My favorite 419 story is one in which the "victim" turned the tables on the solicitor.
Mike told me how he baited...Prince Joe Eboh.
"I'm sure he's not a prince at all," Mike says. "He contacted me with a standard 419 [so-called after a section of Nigeria's legal code]....
"I tried to turn it round by saying I worked for a church and we couldn't do any business with people who are not of our faith."
Mike sent a response in the name of Father Hector Barnett of the Church of the Painted Breast....
"Now I knew the guy would write back and say: 'Well, can I join your faith?' and indeed he did," says Mike....
So he wrote:
Dear Joe,
Our ministry was founded in 1774 by a wonderful lady by the name of Betsy Carrington. She spent many of her first preaching years in Kenya, spreading the holy gospel amongst the local people there. She was the first person male or female to promote Christian texts and beliefs to the Masai warrior tribe.
The most famous account is when as a test she had to remove the top part of her clothes and paint the top half of her body and breast with the red Masai war-paint as a gesture of faith and belief to them so that they would accept her and trust her. She was almost immediately accepted by them and was one of the most trusted westerners known at that time.
As a qualification to enter the Holy Church of The Order of The Red Breast, all followers must go through the initiation procedure that Miss Carrington made so famous. I have attached a photograph of four of our young inductees going through the procedure.
Please use this picture to enable you to make the same marking on yourself. I have also attached a small picture showing the design in more detail. I look forward to welcoming you into our membership my brother.
Father Hector Barnett Financial Development - Holy Church of The Order of The Red Breast.
And the Prince sent back a picture with a 9 over his nipple.
And the story gets better. Here's the original BBC article, including pictures of topless men.
Posted by: Ontario Emperor on Apr. 20, 2006