...it's not dark yet, but it's gettin' there...

January 21, 2006

Long Live The Whale

I could only come up with four flippant* comments about the whale. They are as follows:

  1. Haven't seen this many Londerners lining up to see a dead body since Diana's funeral.

  2. Why make such a big deal over this whale, when thousands of fish are lost along the Thames every day, and no one tries to save them. It's species favoritism, I tell you.

  3. Is there a way they can blame Bush for this one?

  4. "Unsuccessful attempts had been made during the night to encourage the Thames whale to swim back downriver." Maybe they should have tried a bikini whale.
Extremely lame, I know. Okay, so you can do better?
_______________

* Five if you count that pun.

Posted by annika, Jan. 21, 2006 | TrackBack (0)
Rubric: Science & Technology



Comments

1. Vive le Dauphin!

2. "C'est assez!" dit la baleine.

3. Quick solution to the whale's problems: grenade in blowhole.

4. Quicker solution: Sinead in blowhole.

5. Headline: A Confused Sir Elton John Sighted in Thames

6. Headline: Giant Sperm Attempts to Impregnate London

7. Headline: Disoriented Whale Likely Irish

8. Headline: Whale's Triumphant Swim to London Trumps Its 2004 Scaling of Eiffel Tower

9. Headline: Muslim Whale Decries British Decadence

10.
Headline: Whale Too Late to Watch David Blaine Stunt
Subtitle: "Piss,Fuck, Diddle!" Says Whale.


Kevin

Posted by: Kevin Kim on Jan. 22, 2006

Now that's good comedy!

Posted by: annika on Jan. 22, 2006

Crap. Kevin beat me to the angle I was going to use, or at least half of it: "Londoners Mourn Death of Oprah in Freak Thames Drowning; Scotland Yard Suspects French Involvement."

How about, "Autopsy: Thames Whale Had 0.3 BAC; Footie Yobs Sought in Investigation."

Shit. Those suck. I'm no comedian.

Posted by: Matt on Jan. 22, 2006

Sperm whale impregnates London...

Ya know, if you think of a side view diagram of the reproductive system, and imagine southeast England as a uterus, London as an ovary, and the Thames as a fallopian tube...

Posted by: gcotharn on Jan. 22, 2006

Such rancor.

Posted by: will on Jan. 23, 2006

An anagram engine tells us that the phrase "WHALE IN THAMES" yields a gazillion anagrams. Among them:

SEW HIM THE ANAL

WHEEL HIM, SANTA

ELENA WHAM SHIT

ENEMA WITH LASH

MAN HEAL WHITES

HATE HIS LAWMEN

HI! HATE SLEW MAN!

HE HAS LAME TWIN

and every sperm bank's favorite:

HAIL SEMEN THAW!


Kevin

Posted by: Kevin Kim on Jan. 23, 2006

Shit, shoulda quit while you were ahead.

Posted by: Casca on Jan. 23, 2006

It's in London. They are British. So, they weren't lining up. They were "queuing" up. Sheesh, Annika. Don't be so culturally insensitive. :P

Posted by: ccs178 (Chris) on Jan. 23, 2006

"And there's more where that came from!" shouted the asshole.


Kevin
hee hee

Posted by: Kevin Kim on Jan. 23, 2006

Not better, necessarily, just stupider. Here.

Posted by: Pachey on Jan. 24, 2006

Great stuff Pachey. Blogrolled you.

Posted by: annika on Jan. 24, 2006